Some people tell me I take good photos.

Did Alice Cooper just make a cheeky quip about Keith Richards on @talkSPORT? 🤣

Glad that Lisandro Martinez has come out and said something - because someone needs to! However, I reckon he’s wanting out rather than having concern for the club. Probably hoping for the club to move him on. #MUFC

Ey up @LauraKirk12, Toffifee is pronounced “toffi-fee”, not “to-fee-fee”. Cheers.

I fuckin’ hate modern football. Players falling over after being tickled. How did they get through grass roots?! #ATMMUN #UCL

Fucking useless cunts. #MUFC #ATMMUN #UCL

Do people with turkey teeth know how stupid they actually look? Far too white and straight, isn’t there an option to make them look a little more natural?

Netflix win the rights to broadcast the World Cup. Game’s gone.

This fella who jumped into the tiger enclosure at Yorkshire Wildlife Park. How did he die? I know you’ll be like “duhhh!” but of the video that’s circulating it doesn’t look enough to take his life. So guessing there was more mauling to be done? Anyone got that video?

Ref lost control. As soon as the red card happened he was dishing out yellow after yellow for any tickle. Arsewipe. That said, if you can’t beat a team with 10 men, no wins and bottom of the league then….pft. Shite. #TOTMUN

When Spuds were on the attack then I was literally just thinking ‘I don’t trust Lammens’ and 7 seconds later he concedes that shite. #MUNTOT

Zirkzee and Dalot coming on. We’re fucked now. #MUNTOT

Spurs are without a win but you just know they’re gonna give us a WHOOPING today ffs. 😪 #MUNTOT

I’d love to headbutt Martin Keown.

Holloway is all of us.

How has it just gone 08:30 and my phone battery is at 20% already…..(!)

Feels weird having two Scotsmen, Alan Brazil and Ally McCoist, wanking England off on @talkSPORT. Prefer them to just be honest.

C’mon Gezzy! 🎯 #PDC #GrandPrixOfDarts

Jeeeeezus. Desperation or greed?

Now that Tyson Fury has outed himself as a Guinness bummer I’m wondering if Mr Smith and Mr Thompson will switch their support away from AJ.