Youβll figure me out eventually..β,β..:βπ½
Washington, USA
Joined February 2025
- Tweets11.8K
- Following2.3K
- Followers2.8K
- Likes14.5K
Nelson retweeted
Funeral Director: βThe family is refusing to leave. They say we cremated the wrong person.β
Crematorium Manager: βWhat do you mean, the wrong person?β
Funeral Director: βThey brought the identification photograph. Theyβre saying the person in the photograph isnβt their mother.β
Manager: βThatβs impossible. We verified the identification before the service.β
Funeral Director: βThen explain why the daughter is saying the identification bracelet had a different surname.β
The manager called the crematorium technician who had prepared the body.
Manager: βDid you check the identification bracelet?β
Technician: βYes. I checked it against the paperwork.β
Manager: βAnd everything matched?β
Nelson retweeted
My son was suspended for selling exam answers.
That was exactly how the email from his school described it. Academic dishonesty. Distribution of confidential examination materials. Mandatory disciplinary meeting.
He was a sophomore, consistently on the honor roll, and had never been in trouble before.
I was furious.
I spent the entire drive to school wondering how a boy who had everything going for him could throw it all away for a few hundred dollars.
When we arrived, the principal was waiting with his mathematics teacher.
Nelson retweeted
A landlord sent his tenant a message on Monday morning demanding $650 for a bathroom repair.
Landlord: βThe plumber finished the bathroom repairs. You need to send me the $650 today.β
Tenant: β$650? What happened?β
Landlord: βThe pipes were leaking, and water damaged part of the bathroom wall. I had to call someone to fix it.β
Tenant: βBut I reported that leak to you almost three months ago. You told me you would send someone.ββ¦β¦β¦..
Nelson retweeted
Apparently, this is fiction. Thatβs good, because I don't think any doctor would do a vasectomy on a 20yo.
Nelson retweeted
There is a difference between perseverance and an inability to let go. Atiku has attempted the presidency six times. Perhaps it is time to ask whether Nigeria needs another attempt or a new direction.
Nelson retweeted
For three years, a little boy called my number every Sunday.
The first time, he asked:
βIs my dad there?β
I told him he had the wrong number.
The next Sunday, he called again.
Same question.
Eventually, I asked why.
βHe told me to call this number if I ever missed him.β
I asked who his father was.
He gave me a name.
My heart stopped.
It was my younger brother.
He had died three years earlier.
Nelson retweeted
There's one thing I don't get. This lady was actually nice to you. She was kind and respectful, yet you decided to record her and post her online. Don't even try to sugarcoat it. We all know why you made this post. You posted her because she doesn't look like the average person you see every day. This is one thing I genuinely dislike about some young people with cameras. Not everyone you meet needs to become content for public entertainment. Sometimes, people are just minding their business and doing their jobs. Leave them alone.
