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All tweets are excerpts from the colourful & diverse Manchester United Facebook page. None are my views. Avatar by @bifurcated_mufc.

Everywhere in the world
Joined May 2012
Pls don’t hate on me this is just my opinion nd I am not saying I am one hundred per cent correct and everything is up to interpretation so don’t hate on my for this opinion please but I think Paul Pogba is a very good player
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Phil jones is like a sour patch child
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soccer is only a good sport if it makes me happy.. today it is a good sport
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Jose mourinho is the devil on my shoulder.. teaching me to do bad things like go to the bathroom in school without asking
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i want to claw my way thru the tv to tell Matic that he is wonderful and strong
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I thought I knew about grieving and sadness. And then I heard that Pogba pulled his hamstring. And I want to clench my muscles with anger
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10% of the time mkhi reminds me of dirty sewage water and 90% he reminds me of graceful dogs and great assisting futbol players
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this team is so STRONG. yes the players can pass the ball but so STRENGTH, like primal caveman from d first era of man. ggmu.
if dis season was a steak then its med rare and united and mourinho will just chew it up
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Matic looks like the statue of liberty. Hes so strong and good. He makes me want to be a good person. Ggmu.
Man united so strong nd muscular but also graceful. strong Lukaku nd soft Mata. Nice mix. Like a strong lion with the graceful night snow
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Oh dear. I cannot hold the joy
this year I am nervs. we hav 2 many big strong men. am scared becos every1 is 2 tall. the legs r 2 long 2 kick with technique. ggmu
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No 1 gets football (soccer) like I do. I thought that we should sign Lukaku then we signed Lukaku. Ask me questions to know the soccer truth
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Iam friends with Lukaku. I swear. I met him at the mall once. I am such friends tht I can call him Romelu the jack hammer. He likes it.
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The EFL cup looks like my dad
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during this game I had problems with my stomach making lots of nervous sounds but beauty Ibra put my stomach to sleep
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good goal from zlatan but his ponytail is too tight. he will tear the hair from his scalp. be careful please . . .
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I Do Not See Luke Shaw On The Field But I See Him In My Dreams (Day And Night)
i realize something. lets just try to win everygame. i think this is a Good Idea to win trophy. so Jose gd job but now try to win EVERY GAME