"Tino and the forces of darkness are like this!"

"So how did your experiment go with Brian?" "He did most of it."

When someone dies young, it's like they stay that way forever. Like a vampire.

"This is not something I am gonna do. I'm just not the sort of person who joins things, okay?"

"Look, I didn't hear anything just now, okay? I just basically tuned it out. I'm able to do that. Like, not hear things."

Okay, so I have a zit. I have a zit on my chin. It's not the end of the world... exactly.

"Did I tell you what Angela Chase asked me? She asked if I could come over and explain congruent triangles to her. So I said, Do you know how long it's even been since I even *had* geometry? Then she like hands me her geometry book, like I'm supposed to review it, or something."

"I'm your father. *That's* the particulars."

"Speaking of apparitions, where's Catalano? Does anybody know Jordan Catalano?"

"Look, I know how you feel about her, but she's actually not a bad kid." "Who, that Rayanne person? Oh please, she's the least of my problems."

"Field trips are so intense. It's like everybody's been let out of their cages, or something."

"Now my mother thinks we slept together." "Well, okay. Do you want my mother to call your mother and tell her you didn't sleep together?"

"He actually asked me if I would consider joining drama club. He must have, like, no life."

If you stop to think about, like, chewing? What it really is? How people just do it, like, in public.

"Why is Dad playing catch with Brian Krakow?" "I guess if you live with three women, it could make any man desperate."

"I'm just wondering when all this happened, you know? I mean, people pairing off, into couples. It's like, I wasn't expecting it, or something. Like, did we cover this? Was I absent that day?"

"What about your parents? Mine are getting audited." "Mine are probably getting a citation for, like, best penmanship on a tax return, or something."

That's when the change happened. Just like that. Somewhere in those few seconds, I knew my life would never be the same.

"I really love this fabric. Don't you love it? Couldn't you just eat it?" "I'm not hungry."

"It's okay to like someone, but I mean, boys your age can sometimes..." "Dad, I know. Can sometimes what?" "Can sometimes... not know how to be what you want them to be."