We seem to have become rather obsessed with achievement, and yet our definition of it has grown so frightfully narrow. We measure success by milestones, accolades, outcomes and the approval of others, as though life were some grand examination in which we must all produce the correct answers and, heaven forefend, finish at the top of the class. But sometimes, there is achievement in failure. There is courage in trying and wisdom in knowing when to stop. There are lessons in the things we never finish, the opportunities we miss and the paths that lead us somewhere entirely unexpected. Not everything that fails to meet our expectations has failed to serve us. Sometimes, the lesson is the achievement. And yet, we spend an inordinate amount of time measuring ourselves against those around us, allowing the opinions of others to become the yardstick by which we measure our own worth. We have become so preoccupied with how our lives appear to others that we risk losing sight of how they actually feel to us. Of course, the opinions of others have their place. There are moments when wisdom, counsel and an honest outside perspective are invaluable. But somewhere along the way, we seem to have permitted other people’s judgements to permeate almost every corner of our existence. We seek approval for our choices, validation for our feelings and reassurance that we are doing life correctly. And in doing so, we risk sacrificing the very thing that makes us who we are. Our individuality. Our instincts. Our capacity to discover what matters to us, rather than what we have been told ought to matter. I heard a rather beautiful exchange the other day. “Have you ever loved someone you couldn’t have?” “Yes.” “Why would you love someone you couldn’t have?” “Why breathe if you know you’re going to die?” I rather liked that. For there is something profoundly human in the willingness to love, to hope, to try and to experience something whose outcome we cannot guarantee. We do not refuse to admire a sunset because it will fade, nor do we decline to love because love may one day bring us sorrow. The possibility of an ending does not render the experience meaningless. Quite the contrary, perhaps it is what makes the experience so precious. We seem to have convinced ourselves that everything must amount to either a victory or a defeat, that every endeavour must culminate in success and every decision must justify itself through a favourable outcome. But life is not a perpetual competition, nor are we obliged to turn every experience into a triumph. Sometimes, life is simply life. We try. We stumble. We learn. We love. We lose. We change our minds. We begin again. And occasionally, we discover that the thing we once considered a failure was, in fact, the very thing that taught us how to live a little more wisely, a little more courageously and a little more authentically. So perhaps we ought to be gentler with ourselves. Perhaps we ought to stop asking whether every experience has made us more successful and start asking whether it has made us more understanding, more compassionate or more ourselves. You needn’t win at everything. You needn’t finish everything you begin. You needn’t justify every choice to an audience that is not living your life. And you certainly needn’t measure the worth of your existence by someone else’s ruler. Not everything is a competition. Not every ending is a defeat. And not every experience needs to lead somewhere extraordinary to have been worth experiencing. Sometimes, the greatest achievement is simply having the courage to live a life that feels true to you. And surely, that is quite enough. 🎩💜

A little vocabulary enrichment for the nation(s) 🎩 Some of you are frightfully clever, I’m sure. Others, I suspect, have been making do with the same seventeen adjectives since primary school. Fear not, my loves. The Laird has taken an interest in your intellectual development, and I am nothing if not magnanimous. Do try to keep up, there’s a good populace. Instead of ‘smart’, try perspicacious. It sounds considerably more impressive than telling someone they have a functioning brain. Instead of ‘hard to describe’, try ineffable. Particularly useful for beauty, wonder, or the sheer horror of certain public appearances. Instead of ‘short-lived’, try ephemeral. As in the ephemeral nature of common sense on the internet. Instead of ‘make unclear’, try obfuscate. A particularly useful word when someone is talking for ten minutes and has yet to say anything whatsoever. Instead of ‘flatterer’, try sycophant. For those who mistake shameless arse-kissing for a personality. Instead of ‘everywhere’, try ubiquitous. As in the ubiquitous presence of people who have mistaken confidence for competence. Instead of ‘mysterious’, try enigmatic. Do remember, however, that being incomprehensible is not the same as being interesting. Instead of ‘generous’, try magnanimous. Particularly when one is gracious enough not to correct every grammatical atrocity encountered before luncheon. Instead of ‘wise’, try sagacious. Though I should point out that using impressive words without understanding them is merely stupidity in evening dress. Instead of ‘very particular’, try fastidious. There is nothing wrong with high standards, darling. Some of us were raised properly. Instead of ‘understood by few’, try esoteric. Although do be careful not to confuse a rarefied subject with a rarefied intellect. Instead of ‘recover quickly’, try resilient. A quality much needed in a world determined to test one’s patience, decorum and blood pressure. Instead of ‘practical’, try pragmatic. Because occasionally, my dears, what is sensible must take precedence over what is fashionable. Instead of ‘persistent’, try tenacious. Particularly when pursuing knowledge, good manners or the last word in an argument one has every intention of winning. There. Fourteen little additions to your linguistic arsenal. Do practise them, use them judiciously and, above all, learn what they mean before deploying them in public. I should hate for any of you to become ubiquitously ridiculous. This has been a @LairdOfThManor announcement. 🎩💙

Today, I asked God for a sign from the heavens concerning Harry and Meghan. The Lord did not disappoint. Amen. 🙏🏻☁️