FangirlXtreme

It's time for my occasional reminder that balloons don't fly up to grandma up in heaven. They go up about five miles, burst, and fall back down. What lands is a translucent scrap of latex with a ribbon attached, floating on water, stuck on land, looking almost exactly like a jellyfish. Sea turtles, seabirds and fish eat them. Balloons are the deadliest piece of plastic a seabird can ingest, something like 32 times more likely to kill than a hard fragment, because soft latex folds and blocks the gut instead of passing through. The ribbon stays intact for years, and it wraps around necks, wings and flippers long after the balloon itself is gone. The biodegradable balloons don't fix the problem. University of Tasmania researchers buried latex balloons in industrial compost, the fastest breakdown environment that exists, and dug them up 16 weeks later fully intact. Louisiana made intentional releases a finable offense this year. Most of Europe has banned them. If you want to mark something: plant a tree, light a candle, blow bubbles, ring a bell. Whatever you're releasing it for, it isn't going where you want it to go.

Someone should invent a self-replicating machine that removes pollution from the air and produces food and oxygen. Oh shit hang on, that's just a tree.

The greatest trick coffee pod companies ever pulled was convincing people to pay more for cheap coffee wrapped in trash. Tens of billions of single-use coffee pods and capsules are used every year. Many are made from mixed plastic, foil, aluminum, filters, lids, and wet coffee grounds, which makes them annoying or impossible to recycle through normal curbside systems. Even the 'recyclable' ones often require special collection programs most people don't have easy access to. The pod gives you one cup of coffee, then leaves behind a tiny piece of manufactured garbage that may outlive you. A French press, drip maker, moka pot, pour-over, percolator, or reusable pod can make coffee every morning without throwing away a plastic capsule every time you wake up. The grounds can go in your compost. This is one of those environmental swaps that is not complicated. You don't need a lifestyle overhaul. You don't need to become a coffee snob. You just need to make the switch.