Very skinny girl: "how much fat is *actually* in the fat free yoghurt" Waitress: "0.1g" vvsg: "omigod I nearly ordered it, that was close"

"We need a war, capitalism needs a war so that we can start making money again"

Lady#1 to Lady#2 who is standing in front of her "hey, watch your umbrella". Lady#2 "sorry I had the eyes in the back of my head closed"

Bloke on tube, stinking of booze, to mate "If I know that I'm driving, I never have more than three glasses of wine" #londonchatter

surgery face lady # 1 to # 2 about daughter "she says she can't lose any weight, but what is she to expect when she insists on eating"

Packed but deathly silent rush hour train to London. Small child - "Daddy, your bottom made a funny noise and now there's a yukky smell"

Man's haircut; Short back & side on the left, long hair to shoulders on the right. London...style??? #londonchatter

"If tescos goes I'm heading straight for the champagne bruv" #Londonchatter #Londonriots

"Nah mate, You can't take her to dinner at your Nan's for the 1st date, take her somewhere posh ...like Nandos" #LondonChatter