LolRandomQuotes

Never forget what someone says to you when they are drunk because drunk words are sober thoughts.

You're 13, you smoke, drink, and have sex? you have a bright future ahead of you.

Poor Voldemort:

Sandy: I like karate. Spongebob: I like ka-ra-tay! Mr. Krabs: I like money-ay! Squidward: I hate all of you. -_-

Facebook is second most popular word starting with "F" and ending with "K" I think we all know the first most popular. RT if you know it. ;)

If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road' just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.

Women have powers. They get wet without water, they bleed without injury, they make boneless meat get hard, and make men eat without cooking

GUESS WHO IS BACK FROM THE DEAD TWITTER!

Some people crack me up with their stupidity... At least it provides me with free entertainment.

People ask me why I'm always smiling. It's because I'm always thinking about you.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid every now and then, but some abuse the privilege.

Why does everyone fight over werewolves and vampires when obviously ninjas are way better?

I don't need a brain! I have a little thing called Google! :D

If you don't go for it, you will never get it and if you never get it, you will never have it. So, don't hold back.

Using "etc." in an exam to make it seem like you know more, but really you don't...

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Why is it that men can shoot a deer between the eyes from 100 feet away but they always miss the toilet bowl?

I failed a spelling test in 3rd grade because they asked me to spell amazing, and I wrote my name.

You are the shell to my taco, without you I would fall apart. <3

Just found out that if you say gullible REALLY SLOWLY, it sounds like oranges. Try it!