🏆 teamwork xitter.cf/joshpherigo/status/926…

Life motto: There's no time like the last possible second!

Working title of my memoirs- Hosed: A Life of Perpetual Disaster and Misfortune

“The bruises go away, and so does how you hate, and so does the feeling that everything you receive from life is something you have earned."

Two things in my life have made me work muscles I didn't know I had... 1) rock climbing 2) toddlers

Microwaved donuts are a revelation. 🏆

I got sorted into Thunderbird on #pottermore. This pleases me. pottermore.com/collection/al…

Trying to decide if it is creepy/weird to follow other people's #DiscoverWeekly playlists on @Spotify

Because some lists are sad. Loving @thelistapp li.st/l/1eZ40nvZfXxVT097NlCH…

My week in review: *Montage of me fumbling things and almost dropping them but making glorious saves before they hit the ground*

I hide my @goodreads progress from social media because I'm embarrassed by how freely I award 5 stars to everything I read. 😳❤️📚

Still ugly-crying about #Hodor

When you get hit on by the older fella who came over to collect your blood & urine for a life insurance screening.

Well played @AltPress. Well played, indeed. #ravenclaw

Gets symbolic tattoo just south of melanoma excision scar- 1 month later: scheduled for another excision. Weeee 😑🔪🚫🌞

Have eaten (much) butter straight out of the dish at a restaurant on more than one occasion... this month. #notashamed

Online dating tagline: I will probably emasculate you (on purpose).

Possible #onlinedating tagline for myself: I like to be alone all the time – at Roswell, NM

NM-bound from RI. Flight 1: This airplane smells like french fries and armpits. – at Warwick, RI

How I actually eat cereal. xitter.cf/foodnetwork/status/721… – at Providence, RI