Men: Nerdy girls are so hot. Me: Did you know the reason they don’t allow droids in the Mos Eisley Cantina is because droids don’t drink so it wastes useful customer space? Men: ...yeah, not like that.

Also, I’m way funnier on Threads these days. You should probably follow me there: “thetwitchypixie”. I cross post here sometimes but not always.

It’s Friday & I’m ready to be an entire problem. ✨🤘🏼☕️💋

Just posted a photo dump of some recent adventures/shenanigans! The full elf photo shoot plus recent California adventures will be posted later this week! ✨🤘🏼

Happy Wednesday. Feel free to enable my last bastion of sanity, if you so choose! ✨☕️ buymeacoffee.com/thesassiest…

You’re not supposed to stop learning as an adult. In fact, an intelligent adult unlearns a few things they learned in their youth when they get more information as an adult & then relearns the lesson accurately. This is lost on many people. Remain teachable.

I’m going to find the person who hacked my debit card, stole $400, left me with -$180.61 & is the reason I have to wait to get my money back & then I’m going place a hex on them like they’ve never been hexed before. Expect your children to have vestigial tails & gills, thief.

Every day I get closer & closer to my final form: an extremely cozy super villain with cool hair who runs on spite, peroxide & pastries. buymeacoffee.com/thesassiest…

Being sweet to me is good for your health. So is exercise, but one of these things takes considerably less effort & involves significantly more pastries.

No YOU just found out the tour manager of your favorite band since you were 13, whose concert you’re at right now, follows you online…aHHHHHHHH I’m such a nerd, but that’s SO COOL to me. So lovely connecting with incredibly cool, creative humans over music. 🎶 🤘🏼🖤

Happy Saturday! My hair stylist is a punk rock goddess. New photos were uploaded this AM. Post-concert pics & random evening photos will be posted tonight/tomorrow so now is a GREAT time to support a lil pixie artist, if you feel so inclined ✨ buymeacoffee.com/thesassiest…

7 hours until I get to see my fave, Jimmy Chamberlin. Again. 💥 🎃

Happy Friday, humans. Taking a little moment of coffee, tunes & sunshine before the crazy busy weekend kicks off. I need eleventy-two caffienes, please. ☕️☀️

Being a creepy lil cutie despite the horrors. Happy October, sweet freaks. 🦇

Greetings, October. I’ve missed you. 🍂🎃

Anyways, here’s “Wonderwall”.

It’s a full moon. Do not text your ex & go send a witch money.

It’s a good photoshoot! You should check out the preview shots on BMAC…full shoot drops this weekend ✨

This week - SO FAR - 2 pairs of my boots got destroyed, my hair straightener broke & I ran out of half my beauty products. All at the same time. I want to scream. Why is being alive so damn expensive??? Grrrr.