LitAttyMemes

Iran’s been closer to having nuclear weapons than I ever have of paying off my law school loans.

If she's named after a mineral, stone, or other material from the Earth, she has a criminal lawyer on speed dial.

I just tried to call an adjuster while using the calculator app.

It's cheaper to buy a handle of vodka than a dozen eggs. Do with that what you will.

I'm gonna fuck around and get verified.

PI lawyers to adjusters before settlement: The bills are the bills. 🤷‍♂️ You can't cut them. PI lawyers to doctors after settlement: These bills are high AF. Take this reduction. 👌

Ladies, yeah you got your rights squashed by SCOTUS but now you can ride in the carpool lane with a positive pregnancy test.

Day 36,582 as a lawyer not using the formula for Pythagorean Theorum.

Toxic firms: We promote a strong company culture. 😃 Me: What happened to the "-ure" part? 🥴

Fellas, to be a world champion bull rider you only need to last 8 seconds. Let these heifers know anything more is a gift. ✊️✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

Georgia: Saved the country by turning blue. Reward: Braves and Dawgs championships.

People of the South, if you only have liability insurance stay off the roads. This is full coverage only road conditions.

Spirit airline is what white people fly to feel like 2nd class citizens. ✈️✈️

The CDC: "It is is what it is."

The CDC would never recommend hiring a SuperLawyer. #cdc #cdcsays #superlawyer #trash

Solo firms be like: If you got work problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a boss ain't one.

Me as a divorce attorney: *drafts motion for possession of ice cube trays and drink coasters*

The key to success at a new firm is to blame your mistakes on the person who most recently quit or got fired. 1. Nobody likes a quitter. 2. If they got fired they suck. 3. They aren't there to defend themselves. Follow me for more career advice.