The Nigel Farage Guide to Being a Working-Class Hero Step 1: Be born to a City stockbroker. Step 2: Attend Dulwich College, fees currently £53,000 a year. Step 3: Skip university. Become a City commodities trader instead. Step 4: Run one of your metal broking firms into insolvency. Step 5: Get elected to the European Parliament. Spend the next 21 years drawing a salary from the institution you're paid to dismantle. Step 6: Claim £15,500 a year in expenses for an office your party was given rent-free. Step 7: Put your wife on the EU parliamentary payroll. Take her off only when the rules force you to. Step 8: Get investigated by the EU's anti-fraud office. Eventually have half your MEP salary docked to repay misused public funds. Step 9: Throw a Brexit victory party at the Ritz. Decry the "professional political class" to a room of millionaires. Step 10: Take £450,000 in personal gifts from Arron Banks. House. Car. Lifestyle. Step 11: Take £5 million, undisclosed, from a Bangkok-based crypto billionaire. Days later, announce you're standing for parliament after all. Step 12: Win Clacton. Take the £93,904 MP salary. Add £1.2 million a year from GB News at £2,300 an hour. Become the highest-earning MP in the House of Commons. Step 13: Speak in parliament fewer times than any other party leader. Fly to America at least nine times in your first year. Refuse to hold in-person constituency surgeries. Holiday in France while parliament is sitting. Step 14: Tell the working class you're one of them. Tell them to vote against their own interests, over and over again. Pint, mate?