Lesush🐱

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: HATERS IN DISBELIEF AS TAPROOT WIZARDS ANNOUNCE $30,000,000.00 SERIES A ROUND (REAL) (Mossad HQ, Tel Aviv) 2 years ago, the Taproot Wizards team inscribed the first 4MB block in bitcoin’s history with an image of a bald wizard. that historic event marked the generational bottom for BTC: in the 2 years that followed, tens of thousands of bitcoiners took a shower for the first time. the most notorious laser-eye maxis called it quits and shut down their podcasts. and the president of the united states of america posted a Taproot Wizards hat on his instagram account. “the $30,000,000.00 raised will allow us to bribe miners and rogue NSA agents to activate OP_CAT” said customer support intern Udi Wertheimer. “with bitcoin mempools clearing up, we would also use the funds to push more spam into the chain, to the benefit of all mining pools (except ocean)” “ok udi but we will also use it to gear up development efforts and make bitcoin magical again with new and exciting protocols based on OP_CAT” says eric.eth, aka Taproot Wizard #0002. “sure, that too”, udi adds. the round is led by @standardcrypto which is doubling down on its major commitment to the bitcoin ecosystem, joined by funds including @cyberfund, @__geometry__, @ColliderVC and others. photos of the investors taking showers were not made available at the time of this release. 🔶🔶🔶 MORE NEWS COMING ANNOUNCEMENT 2 LOADING... 🪄 FOLLOW @TAPROOTWIZARDS AND TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS 🔔

Runes were a mistake…. but OP_CAT fixes this! INTRODUCING CATNIP: bitcoin-native CAT-powered tokens The user experience of BRC-20s and Runes felt disappointing to most crypto enthusiasts. While ordinals and inscriptions are widely considered to be a superior version of NFTs on other chains, Runes and BRC-20s do not meet the standard set by fungible tokens on other networks. The source of the frustration is a fundamental issue with these protocols: bitcoin consensus (bitcoin nodes and miners) isn’t aware of their existence. That means that whenever anyone wants to trade BTC for runes or vice versa, they have to jump through cumbersome steps to “lie and cheat the code” and get the bitcoin network to do what they want. Sort of. That’s why you have to split your runes UTXOs. That’s why people have to buy the entire listing of a rune and can’t just buy part of it. That’s why you can’t do bids. That’s why you can’t have liquidity pools and AMMs. CATNIP fixes all of that. it’s a new, bitcoin-native token protocol, that supercharges coins with our OP_CAT recursive covenants — the same recursive covenants that power @rot13maxi’s Purrfect Vaults — to allow bitcoin consensus (miners and nodes) to enforce the protocol rules. True bitcoin-native tokens, that you can play with inside bitcoin script. No other token protocol can do that! CATNIP allows marketplaces to have partially-filled orders, where users don’t have to split their UTXOs ahead of time and can just buy the amount of tokens that they want. It allows bids, where users could say that they want to buy an amount of CATNIPs for a certain BTC price, and let one or multiple sellers fill them. It will even allow onchain L1 AMMs and liquidity pools! We don’t think L1 AMMs will be a great experience, because of bitcoin’s slow blocks and other issues related to transaction relay policies, but CATNIP will also allow fast and secure offchain AMMs (for example, using CatVM). We’ve been working on CATNIP for a while! It is in development and we’ll have it ready by the time OP_CAT is live on the bitcoin mainnet. We’ve seen a couple of other teams exploring similar designs. That’s awesome! That’s the power of OP_CAT, you can expect a ton of awesome new designs once it’s live on the bitcoin mainnet! THERE ARE NO CATNIP TOKENS FOR YOU TO BUY OR MINT RIGHT NOW. CATNIP will only go live once OP_CAT is live on the bitcoin mainnet. We expect it to be extremely useful for stablecoins, but I’m sure you degenerates will use it for other stuff too. Some people might attempt to experiment with those ideas on altcoins that have OP_CAT enabled, and that’s awesome! But true bitcoin-native CATNIPs will have to wait until OP_CAT is live. For now, follow @quantumcats for updates, and @rot13maxi for a technical deep-dive coming soon! Maybe turn on notifications too. gmeow! 🐱