Nitram Le B

Here we go again........

Damn it was hot last night. I couldn't stop sweating!

Me psyching myself up to tell my girlfriend I'm going to the pub.......

Yesterday a good friend of mine told me how I keep violating people's personal space. It was a very hurtful thing to say, and it totally ruined our bath together!

You will never look at an olive in the same way........you're welcome!

I hate it when you're in the car with the windows open, and a banging tune comes on, so you crank up the volume. The banging tune finishes and a Spicegirls song comes on, but you forget to turn down the volume. Then you're at the traffic lights blaring Spicegirls. Oh the looks!

My girlfriend just got me a "get better soon" card. I'm not ill, she just thinks I need to get better at things........what a liberty!

Years ago I was going out with Jane who had a twin. One night we all went out and got very drunk. Anyway to cut along story short, I "accidently" ended up sleeping with the wrong twin, I should have realised, Jane had long brown hair, and her twin James had a penis! What a fool!

What does a flea and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites. I'm not apologising....I said it! #SorryNotSorry #joke

Just a thought. But if you're at a restaurant waiting for the waiter, doesn't that make you the waiter?? Anyway.....enjoy your Friday evening!

My friend thought that onions was the only food that made you cry, so I threw a coconut at his head.....and now coconuts make him cry. Who would have knew hey?!

Yay! I've just finished my 7th marathon in 7 days. Or "Snickers" as its called now......but yay!

Just found out that my girlfriend thinks I'm nosey, what a liberty! She didn't tell me, I read it in her diary.....but still, what a liberty!

The question of the week.....

It's literally the only "diet" plan that works for me!

Wow......just wow!