I was bored at work and so wrote a poem. Enjoy. Or do not. I ain’t your mother.

Watch Mulan followed by Return of the King for back-to-back “My friend, you bow to no one,” happy endings.

Coraline is saying cunt on the daily in her twenties.

When all you have is a nuke, everything looks like Hiroshima.

Eve is a domme baddie who fell in love hard with her puppyboy boyfriend Wall-E and stayed with him and supported him throughout his scary bout with cancer send tweet.

Why is it called phone sex instead of phonication? Missed opportunity honestly.

A group of men go to the doctor, they say, “help us doc, we feel oh so blue.” The doc says, “worry not friends. Great Charlie Kirk is in town. He will make you laugh and lift your spirits.” The men weep and say, “but doctor, we are Charlie Kirk.” Liek if you cry evertim

Oh thank goodness the sad American soldiers in Vietnamese jungle movies were getting old I’m really looking forward to sad American soldiers in Venezuelan jungle movies

I NEEEEEEEEED an Oracle at the #TI12 finals! Best hero!

Here's my guesses for the keycap bowls at the @SteelSeries booth MY GUESS: SteelSeries - 872 DOTA 2 - 358 #TI12 #TI12KEYCAP

Check out these DOTA 2 Weapons at the @SteelSeries booth - welcome to The International! #TI12 #TI12PHOTO

Check out these DOTA 2 Weapons at the @SteelSeries booth - welcome to The International! #TI12 #TI12PHOTO

Check out these DOTA 2 Weapons at the @SteelSeries booth - welcome to The International! #TI12 #TI12PHOTO

Hey @gotobedjordan I think you may enjoy this youtube.com/watch?v=l-YHmIog…

Big congratulations to @FindUsAlive for meeting their #HymnsForTheRoad stretch goal! Looking very forward to seeing it in the future!

Happy birthday to @TabsterBlaster! Big fan of all that you do

Darn right

Take me, you cowards