Caitlin F. Barton

"A few questions. Why does the /android/ have a dick. Why does the android have an asshole."

"I'm having nothing to do with these children, I already have Hawkeye 2.0 to look after... and a dog."

"You know what's really cool? Hot girls."

"Who the fuck decided missions could be on weekends?"

Laugh track plays

"Next you'll be telling me Phil got pregnant while still a guy."

"I'm going back to my universe where robots don't have sperm."

"My life is all sorts of crazy, but I didn't get knocked up by a robot SO."

"Why have a million boyfriends when you can silently pine over Natasha Romanoff and cry because you'll never be good enough for her?"

Google.com robot sperm?

"Phil is gonna have..... PHILDREN."

"Perks of being really gay: I don't have random children. Perks of having a womb: I would know if I had children."

"Someone give that man a 'safe sex' guide."

"My Phil isn't as hot as male me's Phil." Frowny face

"I LOVE DOGS."

Pines loudly