@LLGabagoolJay

Passionately apathetic. Not a lover nor a fighter but a secret third thing

 East Nunya
xitter.cf/search/from:@JayTorch1031(exclude:replies)
Joined September 2009
  • Tweets42K
  • Following1.8K
  • Followers2.7K
6.1KMedia
The first 51 weeks after vacation are always the toughest
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𐌕 🍂
@fwtiminiMar 8
Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious… like what was that??
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I’m “can’t tell the difference between an O and a 0 unless the zero has a line through it” years old.
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A 30-minute meeting is really an hour when you factor in the 15 minutes of dread before it and the 15 minutes it takes to recover after it.
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Benny Boy@Camel_CrushinFeb 21
You can just take a picture of a tortoise and say it’s 192 years old. Nobody checks that shit.
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Benny Boy@Camel_CrushinFeb 16
I have a hard time believing every single American president was born on this day, but whatever.
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I’m only 50% sure I’m off today, but 100% sure I’m not working.
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It’s your day to shine, Russel Stover
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pinto
@pinto479Feb 14
Beautiful display of humanity and sportsmanship by Smackover (AR) basketball team vs Ashdown (AR) last night! Kid will remember this forever!
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Destry@DestryBrodFeb 12
Remember when water was the only brand of water?
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When you’re more excited about Friday the 13th than Valentine’s Day
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Turns out I’m not all that productive on the Tuesday after the Super Bowl either
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The Walk of Shame, but it’s just leaving Home Depot empty-handed, foolishly thinking they’d still have shovels in stock
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A snowman so realistic it refuses to stop and ask for directions
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Today I turned “hates the fkn snow” years old 🎂❄️☃️
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My snow angel has love handles
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For someone who isn’t good at his job, I talk a lot of sh!t about weather forecasters
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If I was a size XS or XXXXXXL, I’d be cleaning up with these clearance sales
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I wish the Elf stayed and I left for 11 months
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No one on any work call for the entire month of December can believe how fast the year has gone by
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When I say I’m built different, it’s not in a good way
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