I like to think that Simone Zaza’s out there somewhere smiling like a proud father

Russells or Martins I’d rather have as manager: Ricky Martin Russell Howard Martin Kemp Doc Martin Johnny Russell Ricky Martin Martin Freeman Martin Luther King Russell Hobbs Russell from Up Martin Short Steve Martin Kurt Russell Martin Tyler Martin Goodman Marty McFly

Maya Jama’s come as the honey monster

Darcy Kuemper’s trying his level best to play in Winnipeg

Had to be Trent for Quansah there rather than an immaterial centre back swap

Couldn’t be happier to have family commitments today and have sold my season ticket, guessing it’s as bad as it looks

New hockey season and it’s taken one period for refs to give a penalty that literally didn’t exist

New season and Rob Sanchez is still rubbish

That new goalie in Nottingham seems hopeless

Worst ever debut from Joao Gomes?

Villa could be in serious bother this season. Only 15 senior players in their squad with champions league football to contend with, and very few of their best players left. Think they’d have to snap your hand off at mid table

There’s something not right with Spurs being the last premier league team alphabetically

I mean these are like some of the worst jerseys I’ve ever seen bad. Like that challenge cup one is horrific

I’m sorry but that is fucking embarrassing from Harry Souttar.

Can we sack the rest of and just watch Braybrooke play on his own

Would never expect it to be given but if they want to get rid of these corner wrestling matches then that’s a pen

More problems in the first eight minutes against the team that finished fifth in league two last season than I can fit in one tweet. But the ball falling exactly to where a striker would be continuously is rather annoying

Proud to say I stayed awake through the full 90 there

Bobby Reid’s entering his third season as a Leicester player and I’m still not sure what position he plays