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Nylander: I’m scared of getting this goal transplant.
Matthews: It’s ok babe, I’ll be here after your surgery.
*Nylander wakes after surgery and sees a nurse*
Nylander: Where is Auston? He said he’d be here.
Nurse: Who do you think gave you the goals?
Auston Matthews says he’s going to do whatever it takes to get William Nylander going again.
sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/matt…
Someday the NHL will grasp that there are aesthetic possibilities that exist somewhere between “Brown because it’s old” throwbacks and Epic Bacon Monster Energy slop
NHL Hometown Remix logo drop:
Montreal and Edmonton both practiced today wearing their HTR equipment. I recreated the logos as seen on the pants.
Additionally, Minnesota's HTR logo leaked the other day as Wallstedt's goalie mask was posted to Instagram.
Winnipeg practiced today as well and Skinner was seen in his HTR pads, however I was not able to notice anything new for the rest of the skaters.
#GoHabsGo #LetsGoOilers #MNWild
L69fs retweeted
Trump: My wife says, you shouldn't be dancing on the stage, by the way. You should walk off with a gentle wave. Goodbye. When the gay national anthem plays, you know, it's called the gay national anthem, actually. I got the highest gay vote of any Republican in history. She said, 'You should not dance off the stage, my darling.'
And don't talk about the swimming. Where you look left and you look right, and then you look a little further right and you see the largest human being you've ever seen. Larger than Shaquille O'Neal, with a bigger reach.
And the swimmer got hurt badly because she suffered massive wind burn. Because the giant to her right swam by her so fast that the wind was unbelievable. For the rest of her life, she'll be suffering from windburn.
Completely unrelated but I cannot believe how bad Jake Paul has been aging as a result of all the steroids and raw milk and whatever else he’s been pumping into his body since he went full maga. He looks like he is made of mud.
Every time I look at the standings I am reminded that there are 6 or 7 playoff-worthy teams in the Atlantic and *maybe* 2 in the Metro
I can already see the inevitable "102 point Atlantic team misses while an 86 point Metro team makes the playoffs" conclusion to this season



















