Two of my roommates are currently showering together and I can hear it while I’m eating

Got told I have two red flags and I got offended because I thought I had at least a couple more :(

You can unfollow me but you can’t undoxx yourself #dontrunnow

Ooh a 2:54 marathon as a woman? That’s great! Half marathon? Oh. I forgot you lost fifty pounds due to ozempic. You may be skinnier but yo ass can barely even JOG. That’s like a tall dudes walking pace

22 likes on my Instagram story and only 1 was a woman! She also happens to be my mom. I get NO BITCHES.

Put on prolly my best performance of all time at work this weekend. Worked about 20 hours, didn’t go under once while basically everyone else did, and trained people as well. Manager came in to eat and I didn’t know and she said the drinks I made were perfect. Life is GOOD.

Yeah man I wish

Gotta be a dude tryna sneak his way into the girls gc

If you fucking stop and sit at stop signs while driving just know I fucking hate you. If there’s nobody else who can go, DRIVE RETARD

Haven’t had sex since July and have no prospects rollin for me. Approaching the longest cold streak of my life in October. Man I need a life

Ay yall chillin- WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

This is funny but what was really funny was my coworker coming over drunk to say hi and knocking the drinks at service well into the ice pit leading to the entire thing having to be burned. I’d take no tip anyday Lwk.

Crying in the bar

It was a fuckin day and I did that shit fool! We made so much fucking money and we comped only one drink all fucking night I’m him (shoutout my manager for also helping me when it got slammed)

Oh FUCK bro I’m on break rn and just found out that not only am I covering this mornings shift, I’m on service well tn instead of my usual job and I don’t have a backup bartender. I’m so cooked tn.

both were big it’d be stupid to get out and fight them but the next time some retard tries that and so much as lays a finger on my car like the passenger did, I’m slamming his face into his own back windshield. Also don’t hit my car if I’m in drive and ur standing in front LOL

Break checked for honking at a guy for driving under the limit. Dude proceeded to get out of the car with his buddy and his buddy tried to hit my car. Like dude it’s 10am you are both LOSERS for tryna gang up on me and break check me