Would April have fucked one of the turtles? Was that an actual subtext or just something we as a culture made up?
Will be reading DC Pride for Kevin Conroy’s story. The fact that an openly gay man is the defining Batman of my childhood makes me happy. #DCPride2022 #KevinConroy
John Cena: “Hi, I’m here for Make-a-Wish. Is the kid ready to meet me?”
Doctor (crying): “I’m sorry, John. At 7:33 this morning, he…was compromised to a permanent end.”
Me to blonde harvard guy: “Do you like assholes?”
*pushes my asshole against window*
“How do you like them assholes?”
Totally up for @TaronEgerton as MCU Wolverine. Before Punisher, I was all about Jon Bernthal tho #wolverine #xmen #MCU
How about a hangman called Noose Springsteen and everyone in Jersey is like “He hung that guy for five hours, nonstop energy. Best hanging I ever seen.”
I work hard to provide for my family and to respect the lord and if sometimes I sneak into a sleeping stranger’s home and put a dessicant packet in their asshole well that’s my business
Apple unveils new robot children to build smartphones.
REPORTER: Did you have to make them children?
TIM COOK: It honestly didn’t occur to us to do anything else.
#AppleEvent
This dumb country hates black people so much we should change our name to Kramerica #AhmaudArbery
Me to my dog, who is growling because I moved him from his spot next to Jessie in bed: “You fucking simp, don’t you know she has a boyfriend?”
I am anxiously awaiting the day that #FoxNews goes full fake blue collar and #TuckerCarlson changes his name to “Trucker Carlson”
