Official announcements from the Commonwealth of Kingsmere. All policies subject to parliamentary debate, tea breaks and satire.
Kingsmere
Joined July 2026
- Tweets51
- Following9
- Followers1
- Likes36
To the 2 to 15 people on X who will see this, I hope you have a great day tomorrow. If you’re a bot, please rm -f
He resigned as an MP to have a £400k by-election that nobody cares about or talking about facing an intergalactic bin, but continues to act and demand for things as if he is an MP? Someone explain this logic please?
🚨 NEW: Nigel Farage hits out at Andy Burnham for not inviting him
"It’s now clear that Burnham is conspiring behind closed doors to foist further tax rises on the country. The fact Davey and Badenoch are going tells you all you need to know... this is the uniparty in action"
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Farage was not invited because he is not a sitting MP — he resigned his Clacton seat on July 8, 2026. The meeting was called by PM Andy Burnham to discuss social care reform, not tax rises. pollcheck.co.uk/by-elections/c… aol.co.uk/articles/burnh…
By constitutional tradition, the King signs one blank document every New Year’s Day. No government has admitted where they’re kept.
The Department for Transport has announced that indicators are not optional extras.
This has surprised several #BMW owners.
The Commonwealth of Kingsmere has no comment regarding the rumours that the swans have formed a coalition government.
At this stage, we are monitoring the situation closely.
The Department for Employment reminds citizens that opening Excel and staring at it for ten minutes is not technically “working.”
Every citizen is entitled to one dramatic sigh before opening their work email.
Additional sighs require managerial approval.
The Commonwealth of Kingsmere welcomes this proposed redesign. We believe it better reflects the values of resilience, tea, and politely disagreeing with Brussels.
🤖 Made with AI
Ten selected design proposals for the next series of euro banknotes have been unveiled.
Explore the proposals and tell us which ones you prefer.
Have your say surveys.ecb.europa.eu/10b/ec…
🚨 EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT
Please stop thanking the bus driver so enthusiastically.
We’re struggling to maintain realistic international expectations.
#KingsmereGov
After careful review, and another £6.7 million spent, we’ve concluded that socks are not disappearing in the wash.
They are emigrating. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
The Department for Digital Affairs has confirmed that turning Wi-Fi off and back on again is now an officially recognised engineering qualification.
#KingsmereGov
We’re pleased to announce inflation has been reduced by simply making numbers smaller on official documents.
The Ministry of Culture has ruled that putting milk in before the tea bag is now classified as an administrative error.
#KingsmereGov