Joined February 2011
I am absolutely never deleting this app. 😅
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Leftists love getting mad at Elon Musk for not solving world hunger Meanwhile, their own jobs are like "barrista at a vegan cafe for the immunocompromised that only accepts homemade pottery as payment, closed M-F"
I don't want flying cars. I want clean water. I want a stable climate. I want bees to survive.
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Keydric retweeted
If I win the lottery, I won’t tell anybody, but there will be signs
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Keydric retweeted
HALLOWEEN IS COMING…
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Git blame is the only horror movie where the killer is always me.
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Keydric retweeted
Me after shipping 10,000 lines of code I’ve never read.
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Why is this so funny to me
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The ergonomic chair cost more than my first car and I'm using it as a hammock.
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Keydric retweeted
> gets a job coding for NASA > builds Mcafee antivirus from his living room > hits the forbes list > becomes a suspect when his neighbor's found dead in belize after killing his 4 dogs > changes his whole look to slip out of belize with his 20 year old girlfriend > tricks the police by hiring a body double to cross the border with his passport > meanwhile he goes the opposite direction to guatemala > fakes a heart attack to dodge capture there > the hitwoman sent to kill him becomes his wife > behind snowden's leak that exposed the US surveillance state > stops paying taxes by blackmailing the gov > runs for US president (twice) > bugs Hillary Clinton's campaign staff by mailing them "free" laptops > moves to a boat in the caribbean with armed guards > most wanted in 3 different countries > judge approves his extradition to the US > found dead in a Spanish prison cell > spanish judge ruled his death a suicide > previously said if he's ever found dead it wasn't suicide > may still be alive The very definition of "You can just do things"
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Keydric retweeted
When your wife know you too well
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Keydric retweeted
I’ve officially reached the “has a strong preference between Lowe’s and Home Depot” stage of adulthood
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Keydric retweeted
What really happened after the State Dinner. The lost Xi camera roll has been found.
🤖 Made with AI
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My wife gave me an envelope marked, "Not to be opened until 2027.” Inside was a list of reasons why I can't be trusted to carry out simple instructions.
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