Chloe woke at 6:30am, 5 years vegan to the day, and checked her conscience. Spotless, as usual. Animals harmed by Chloe so far today, by Chloe's count: 0. 6:40am - Took her supplements. B12, iron, zinc, iodine, algae oil and vegan D3. 6 tablets, brewed in vats in China, to replace what she is too ethical to get from an egg. Chloe calls this eating the way nature intended. 6:55am - Fed Basil, her rescue cat, his vegan kibble. Basil is an obligate carnivore with opinions. He tops up privately with goldfinches. Chloe's count: 0. 7:15am - Almond milk latte. Chloe does not eat honey, because honey exploits bees. Her almonds were pollinated by 2 million hives trucked across America to California, an annual event the beekeepers compare to sending bees to war. Billions do not come back. The milk is 2% almond. Chloe's count: 0. 8:00am - Pulled on her vegan leather boots. Vegan leather is plastic. They will last 2 winters and then spend 500 years in landfill, outliving everyone who ever complimented them. Her grandmother's leather pair did 30 years and then became soil. 10:30am - Bought an oat flat white with a £10 note. The note contains tallow. The Bank of England looked into changing that and decided against. The oat milk contains rapeseed oil, and its maker took $200 million from Blackstone. Chloe tipped. 12:30pm - Lunch: organic kale bowl with coconut dressing. The kale was raised on blood, fish and bone meal, which is what organic farms use instead of chemicals. The coconuts were picked in Thailand by monkeys on chains. The bowl has a higher body count than a cheese sandwich. Chloe's count: 0. 3:00pm - Needed a lie down. Has needed one daily since 2022. Put it down to toxins leaving the body. Ordered a 7th supplement. 6:30pm - Dinner: a plant-based burger. 18 ingredients, among them methylcellulose, which also serves the nation as a laxative and as wallpaper paste. The peas in the patty were defended all summer by men with shotguns, because pigeons also enjoy peas. The wheat in the bun sat in a silo ringed with rat poison. Chloe's count: 0. 8:00pm - Booked 2 weeks at a yoga retreat in Bali. The return flight puts out roughly what 5 years of veganism saved. Chloe is now carbon level with a man who eats brisket daily and holidays in Rhyl. 9:00pm - Posted: "5 years without harming a single living being." 412 likes. 9:15pm - Basil came in through the cat flap with a vole, and the only honest expression in the house. Final count for the day. Chloe: 0. Basil: 2, and he ate what he killed.