@Kemp__Jake

Writer | MFA TX State ‘21 | Lapsed sports journalist | friends don’t let friends get friends haircuts

 Austin, TX
Joined August 2014
  • Tweets19K
  • Following459
  • Followers1.2K
1.1KMedia
So apparently I’m going to be a Dad. – at Austin, TX
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Jake Kemp retweeted
hasanabi
@hasanthehunOct 1
the people who did this walk among us. we are rehabilitating those in the biden admin who facilitated this already. the trump admin is continuing it. the triggermen get to roam our streets and those who demand accountability for this heinous crime are treated like criminals.
HatsOff
@HatsOffffSep 29
New aerial footage shows the scale of devastation in Gaza
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“Shough has to stop taking so many sacks” lol alright bro
Jeff Nowak
@Jeff_NowakSep 29
This was credited as the fastest sack in the NFL in Week 3 (2.5 seconds), per @NextGenStats
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We don’t hate you imbeciles for voting this piece of shit in enough
Nancy Pelosi Stock Tracker ♟
@pelositrackerSep 28
Breaking: Trump's Education Department is cutting off student loans for degrees that don't pay off Programs failing: - Cosmetology - Massage therapy / bodywork - Culinary arts - Medical / dental assisting - Religious Studies - Social work / mental health counseling - Fine and studio arts - Music - Graphic design - English literature - Early childhood education Takes effect 2027
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Damn near identical to Josh Allen’s sophomore year.
NFL Stats
@NFL_StatsSep 28
Happy 27th birthday, Tyler Shough! His career stats: • 14 games • 312 for 459 (68.0%) • 3,301 passing yards • 253 rushing yards • 22 total TDs - 9 INTs • 93.6 passer rating #Saints
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We can’t afford groceries, you dumb motherfucker.
CSPAN
@cspanSep 24
Former President Obama says Democrats made a mistake by making goals materialistic and instrumental: "What people are starved for at the moment is the ability to tell a moral and ethical story about how we live together in this moment."
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The Hormuz Letter
@HormuzLetterSep 24
BREAKING: Mass walkouts at the UN General Assembly hall as Netanyahu begins his speech, leaving much of the room empty.
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MF was DEALING
NFL
@NFLAug 4
32/39 - 288 yards - 2 TD @drewbrees led the @saints to their first Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl XLIV 🏆 @ProFootballHOF Enshrinement -- Saturday, 12pm ET on @NFLNetwork Stream on @NFLPlus
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They will have to pry this app out of my cold dead hands
GhettoGronk
@ghetto_gronkSep 20
The Browns treating Deshaun Watson to a massage after his first win in 2 years
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Damn Chris Simms I didn’t realize you were a true ball knower
Wu Tang is for the Children
@WUTangKidsSep 19
WOW had no idea Chris Simms had it in him like this 🔥….no lies detected
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Somebody find this piece of shit and make his life hell. He probably traumatized those toddlers for their dad simply escorting them into a public restroom.
FIGHTFLIX
@Fightflix_Jun 16
A father takes his daughters into a women’s restroom during a road trip, leading to a confrontation when another man demands he leave and calls the police 😳
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Not today buddy
John Talty
@JTaltySep 9
The scheduled federal court hearing between SEC and LSU has been continued and will be scheduled at a later date.
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Absolutely heartbroken. Mike is one of the kindest and most supportive people I’ve had the honor to meet in my life. Gutted. Thinking of his family and friends. He will be missed.
Steve Geller@SteveGellerWWLSep 7
Will miss a great colleague and friend audacy.com/wwl/news/local/mi…

Mike Detillier dies after brief battle with cancer, revered as respected college & pro football...

Just days after learning he had terminal cancer, Mike Detillier has died at the age of 65.Detillier planned to share his condition with his WWL audience after Labor Day… on his 66th birthday on...

audacy.com
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This really really sucks
WWL Radio@WWLAMFMSep 7
We have awful news to share: our friend and coworker Mike Detillier has passed away after a brief battle with cancer. He was 65 years old. audacy.com/wwl/news/local/mi…

Mike Detillier dies after brief battle with cancer, revered as respected college & pro football...

Just days after learning he had terminal cancer, Mike Detillier has died at the age of 65.Detillier planned to share his condition with his WWL audience after Labor Day… on his 66th birthday on...

audacy.com
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The fiberglass battling the microplastics in our bodies
U.S. FDA Recalls and Alerts
@FDArecallsAug 26
View the complete details on this recall at: fda.gov/safety/recalls-marke….
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Things getting so bad that MAGA and the boot licker capitalists have gone from the talking points of “just stop buying Starbucks” in order to save money to “just live in your car and eat rice beans” 🤣🤣❤️
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Jake Kemp retweeted
Zara Quinn
@_ZaraquinAug 15
What gets me isn’t even that they’re evil. It’s that they make it so obvious. Every day Trump, Musk, thiel, Netanyahu, Altman and other billionaires they pick up a microphone and literally tell us straight to our faces we don’t give a single fuck about you, we don’t care about human rights, and we don’t care about the planet. and they don’t want us to have rights. And yet, millions of people still convince themselves that these people actually care. That’s the part I’ll never understand.
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MF CHAWING ON THAT SHIT YHEARD ME
New Orleans Saints
@SaintsAug 14
Happy Gameday Eve ⚜️
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Jake Kemp retweeted
‏ً
@omgsidewalksAug 9
You CANNOT rage against the machine if you’re asking it to summarise your emails for you.
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I’m not gonna do well tomorrow. I already got tears just from this.
New Orleans Saints
@SaintsAug 8
Drew Brees in gold, it just makes sense.
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Jake Kemp retweeted
Nivek@Nivek1314Aug 6
20$ says that next conservative bootlicker social media influencers will start telling us to wipe our asses with cloth rags and wash them to save money. Since toliet paper is so expensive now.
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