Comedian. Savage. Empath. Bikini Bomber. All around good guy. https://xitter.cf/t.co/JKDgIBeLm2 ☀
Los Angeles, CA
Joined April 2011
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U can heckle me, but make sure you're right...
#fbp @OntarioImprov
As a big Browns fan & huge Rams fan, I just gotta say that I know it hurts in Cleveland. BUT Don't u think the guy deserves to go somewhere he can get a ring? He could win a super bowl this yr for sure!! And the Browns actually made a great deal for once! Which is rare!!
I'm listening to a hypnotherapy recording for happiness & well-being, & I've paused it twice to masturbate. I'd say it's working!!!!!
Called @AmericanAir for help with a reservation. Held for 2 minutes. Then a human picked up, and I asked for help with registering my service animal. Have now been on hold for 56 additional minutes and counting. Thank God I only have ptsd, and I'm not dying. Life is short.
My 15 minutes oil change at Valvoline is now up to an hour... And $100! 😂 I should have just gone to Walmart!
I told my date I have trouble sleeping, and he said 'maybe try sleeping next to someone u trust'...
... So I got a puppy
My friend asked his mom if she took Tylenol when she was pregnant with him, and she said only for hangovers
Gotta be honest... I didn't really know who Charlie Kirk was until his death. But today, after watching about a hundred clips of him speaking, I'd say he died the way "God Wanted" according to Charlie.
Has @dominos gone stingy due to tariffs? Bought my usual football season pizza today, and the toppings were barely there! Literally half of what I got last season! For a $35 pizza I expect toppings!!!!
i refuse to pay to be verified. that should be included on any social media platform. If people can pretend to be me simply by paying, the app has no credence to begin with.