Kagan

🚨 Pepe tears up explaining the feeling of playing behind Cristiano Ronaldo for Portugal: “I remember a game when we were under pressure and I cleared a ball without looking. It came straight back. “Cristiano turned round and said, ‘Pepe, give me something I can chase.’ “I said, ‘I’m trying to get us out.’ “He said, ‘Then give it to me.’ “I laughed afterwards because he was asking me to pick a pass while I had a striker trying to take my head off. But the next time I won it, I looked. He was already moving. I put it down the channel and suddenly their defenders were running towards their own goal. “That was a wonderful feeling as a centre-back. You’ve spent five minutes defending your box, shouting, getting your body in front of things, and then you hear the crowd because Cristiano has the ball. You can finally step up. You can breathe. “He gave me a lot of those breaths. “People will remember his goals against Sweden. I remember what it felt like at the other end when the match became difficult. You look up the pitch and he’s still making the run. You’re tired, he’s tired, everybody knows where the pass is going, and he still wants you to try it. “I used to ask him, ‘How do you know I can get it there?’ “He’d say, ‘You got it there before.’ “Sometimes that was all the encouragement you needed. He remembered the good pass you’d made, even when you were thinking about the last one you’d given away. “And then there was France in 2016. When he had to come off, I looked at him and knew how much it was hurting. We’d spoken about winning something for Portugal for so many years. Now we were in the final and he couldn’t stay on the pitch. “I remember thinking we had to give him a game he could bear to watch. “That became difficult as well, because every time you looked towards the touchline he was trying to come back on without actually coming back on. I thought, ‘Cristiano, please. We can only listen to one coach.’ “I kept thinking about what it would be like to walk back into that dressing room if we lost. You can tell your friend you gave everything, and he’ll believe you. But you also know he’d give anything to have been out there helping you. I wanted us to come back with something he could hold. “When Eder scored, I still had defending to do. People watching at home could jump up and celebrate. I was looking at the clock and trying to get everybody back where they needed to be. Every ball into our box felt like it had been in the air for a minute. “Then it was over. For once, I could look towards Cristiano without having to look straight back at the pitch. I’d spent years wanting him to get on the end of something. That night I just wanted to get over to him. “Even now, when I see the photographs, I remember how difficult it was to say anything properly. You start a sentence, somebody grabs you, then you see another teammate crying and you forget what you were trying to say. We’d imagined winning that trophy so many times. None of those conversations had prepared me for actually giving him a hug when it happened. “But when we lifted that trophy, I wanted him in the middle of everything. He’d helped get us to that night. And I knew the boy who’d wanted to win for Portugal was still there inside the man holding the cup. “Today somebody asked me what Portugal will miss most. There are so many football answers. The movement, the heading, the way he could turn a clearance into a chance. I’ll probably think of another one tomorrow. “Right now I’m thinking about the next time Portugal are defending a lead and somebody wins the ball near their own box. For years, before I even had it under control, I knew I’d hear him asking for it. “I’ll be watching from home. I think part of me will still look up to see where he’s running.”