I give really good hugs

I’ve been called weird for most of my life. The way I think. The way I communicate. The things I care about. The way I show up in the world. And, let’s be fair, I don’t exactly make it difficult for people to reach that conclusion. 😂 For a long time, I thought I needed to find a way to make myself more understandable. More relatable. More acceptable to the people around me. But I’ve come to realize something rather liberating: I don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t need to be understood by everyone. I don’t need to make myself smaller, quieter, or more conventional just to make other people comfortable. What I do need are those wonderful people who encounter my particular brand of weirdness and think, “Oh! You’re one of my people!” The ones who recognize something familiar in the unfamiliar. Who don’t need me to explain away all my contradictions. Who appreciate me precisely because I’m not quite like everyone else. And when I find those people, I pull them close. I’d rather be deeply loved by a few people who genuinely see me than broadly approved of by thousands who don’t. There’s a tremendous freedom in seeking resonance rather than mass appeal. And perhaps the very things that make you feel strange or out of place are the things that will help your people recognize you. So here’s to the weirdos, the misfits, the outsiders, and everyone who’s ever felt a little difficult to categorize. You don’t have to be for everyone. You just have to find your people. And I hope you do. #AuthenticLiving #Neurodivergent #FindYourPeople #SelfAcceptance #Ecstaticism

Get naked today!

What’s amazing to me is how many men haven’t learned how to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely LOVE seeing a huge load blow everywhere! What I DON’T love is what comes after: the refractory period, the lower energy levels, the inevitable nap lol. When you learn that you can have the full experience of orgasming without blowing your load, you can keep going… have five, ten, fifteen orgasms. As many as you want! And then when you want to cum, it becomes a choice. I’m so grateful I trained my body to do this in my 20’s.

This would be more fun if you were joining me

We are wholly holy. Wholly with a W. Holy with an H. I love that little play on words because I think it’s something we so desperately need to remember. So many of us have spent years being taught to feel ashamed of our bodies, our desires, our sexuality, our identities, or simply the things that make us different. And what has that shame actually accomplished? Has it made us kinder? More compassionate? More loving? More connected to ourselves and one another? Or has it taught us to hide, to disconnect, and to believe that certain parts of ourselves are fundamentally unworthy of love? I’ve always found it strange that we can proclaim that human beings are made in the image of God, only to turn around and declare certain parts of our humanity dirty or sinful. Apparently, God made a few mistakes when designing the dangly bits. 😂 I don’t buy it. I believe our bodies are sacred. Our humanity is sacred. And that includes the parts we’ve been taught to hide. That doesn’t mean every impulse needs to be acted upon or every behavior celebrated. But we can approach ourselves with discernment, responsibility, and compassion without resorting to shame. There’s a tremendous difference between recognizing that something we do may need to change and believing that something about who we are is inherently wrong. My invitation is to begin noticing where shame still lives within you. Where have you learned to recoil from yourself? What parts of your humanity have you been taught to reject? And what might become possible if you began meeting those places with tenderness instead? You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are sacred. Every part of you. Yes, especially those parts. #ShameFreeLiving #EmbodiedSpirituality #SelfAcceptance #SacredBody #EcstaticSelf

WEEK 5 Lowest weigh-in yet this morning: 208.6 lbs. That puts me more than 10 pounds down from where I started five weeks ago, and my coach is really happy with how things are progressing. I am too. About five days ago we dropped my intake to 3,200 calories per day, with fat at around 50g, while keeping carbs very high. Apparently this is also the chapter of my life in which I rediscover pretzels after basically ignoring them for a decade. People occasionally tell me 3,200 calories sounds like an enormous amount of food for a cut, but my activity level is also… substantial. I’m still walking about 5 miles every morning, now fasted; lifting for roughly 90 minutes five days a week; doing 30 minutes of higher-intensity cardio three afternoons a week; and spending about 30 minutes every day on mobility/yoga. My coach also recently added yohimbine as part of the current fat-loss phase. And, importantly, I feel good. Energy has been stable. Hunger is manageable. The exhaustion I was running into earlier in the cut is gone. I’m training well, recovering well, and watching my body change week by week. There’s probably still another 15–25 pounds my coach wants to take off before we turn around and begin the next growth phase, which still feels slightly surreal to me. But I’m much more at peace with the process than I was a few weeks ago. The thing I’m happiest about is that 208 means something very different this time. I finished my last cut around this same bodyweight, and I was neither as lean nor as muscular as I am now. That’s probably the clearest evidence I could ask for that the work since then actually produced something. Same number on the scale. Different body. Five weeks down. Curious to see what’s underneath the next layer. #BodybuildingJourney #CuttingPhase #FitnessTransformation #BodyRecomposition #FitnessOver35

I would like to proudly come out as… a real human being. Apparently, this is something I need to clarify. No, I’m not AI. That’s actually me in my videos. That’s my actual body in my bodybuilding updates. Sometimes the lighting is just really good! I suppose I should take it as a compliment, but it’s a little surreal to have people insist that you’re not actually real. And honestly, I think it’s a sad reflection of where we find ourselves. We’ve reached a point where we can no longer reliably distinguish between what’s real and what’s artificially generated. Which makes me think we need more opportunities to experience one another beyond our screens. Flesh to flesh. Skin to skin. Belly to belly. Breath to breath. To feel someone’s warmth. Hear their laughter. Smell their skin. Look into their eyes. Share the experience of being alive together. There’s something profoundly nourishing about human connection that no algorithm can replicate. So yes, I’m real! A living, breathing, occasionally ridiculous human being. At least as far as I’m aware. And I’m actually quite friendly in person. Come to a workshop. Join me for a retreat. Come say hello. Don’t just take my word for it. Come find out for yourself. #RealHumanConnection #EmbodiedLiving #Authenticity #HumanConnection #EcstaticSelf

In these times of ai, I guess I need to declare that I’m a real person posting an unedited pic

Ten years ago, I was younger. A little more innocent. A little less scarred. And yes, maybe I was cuter, too. 😂 But you know what? I wouldn’t trade the person I’ve become for the person I was back then. Over the past decade, I’ve experienced the complete disillusionment of my spiritual belief system. I was expelled from the community I’d devoted years of my life to. I nearly died twice. I’ve experienced heartbreak, betrayal, grief, and the painful process of rebuilding my understanding of myself and the world. And I’m really proud of who I’ve become. Not because suffering automatically makes us wiser. It doesn’t. But because of the choices I’ve made along the way. The ways I’ve learned to love. The things I’ve questioned. The tenderness I’ve cultivated. Sometimes we’re so busy mourning our younger selves that we forget to celebrate the people we’re becoming. You don’t get to preserve yourself in amber. You’re going to age. You’re going to change. Life is going to happen to you. The question isn’t whether you’ll change. It’s who you choose to become along the way. And when I look at myself today, I see someone I genuinely love and respect. He might not be as young or innocent as the man I was ten years ago. But I like him a whole lot more. I hope you feel the same about yourself. ❤️

Me when COVID hit vs now

The great way to start the day 💪

Come on in! Welcome to our home. Before we say goodbye to Washington, DC, and begin our next adventure in San Francisco, I thought it would be nice to give you a little tour of the place we’ve called home for the past three years. Creating this space has been such a labor of love for us. We renovated the entire condo before moving in, filling it with warm terracottas, corals, teals, handmade tiles, natural textures, sacred art, and all sorts of unexpected little details. I wanted to create something that felt earthy, colorful, peaceful, and just a little magical. A place that felt deeply nurturing and welcoming. And over the years, that’s exactly what it became. A place to meditate. To create. To write. To love. To welcome friends. To celebrate anniversaries. To sit quietly on the couch and watch the world go by. And, apparently, to collect enormous gongs and statues of Hindu deities. 😂 Anthony and I have lived in ten different homes over our nearly twelve years together, and this has hands down been my favorite. I’ve felt so peaceful and nested here. It’s been a place of tremendous healing and joy, and I really couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful home during this chapter of our lives. There’s something bittersweet about leaving a place that has brought you so much happiness, especially when you’ve poured so much of yourself into creating it. But I’m also really excited about what comes next. Our hope is to bring all this sacred art, our gongs, and the spirit of what we’ve created here to San Francisco, where we’d love to build an even more beautiful home temple. A space where we can gather, meditate, breathe, explore embodiment, celebrate queerness, and share meaningful experiences together. I’m not just looking forward to finding another home. I’m excited about the possibility of creating another sanctuary. And one last thing… Our three-bedroom, two-bathroom condo in DC’s Chinatown neighborhood is about to go on the market! If you know anyone looking for a home in the heart of Washington, DC, please send them my way. I would absolutely love for this place to go to someone who will cherish it as much as we have. We’ve poured so much love and good energy into these walls, and I hope whoever lives here next finds as much nourishment, peace, and happiness here as we have. I’m sad to say goodbye, but so grateful for the time we’ve had here. And really looking forward to seeing what we create next. #WashingtonDC #HomeTour #InteriorDesign #SacredSpaces #NewBeginnings

Keep shining

Meet me in the showers?

Life is best spent naked. Who else agrees?