The wellness app congratulated an employee for 31,482 steps. On a Thursday. A legal assistant had joined the company step challenge and somehow walked the equivalent of a small migration during office hours. I checked the leaderboard. 1st place by 9,000 steps. Suspicious. I asked how. The legal assistant said there was a walking pad under the desk. So while emails were being sent, feet were conducting a separate operation. I asked whether typing accuracy changed while walking. “No.” I asked whether anyone had tested that. Also no. By lunch, I’d created the Simultaneous Movement Productivity Standard. Walking during desk work is allowed. But step-challenge participation can’t create incentives to turn work hours into competitive cardio. Steps logged during meetings are fine. Steps logged during document review are fine. Steps logged while pacing solely to win are recreational. The legal assistant asked how I planned to tell the difference. Great question. I removed prizes from the challenge. Participation dropped 83%. Health stabilized immediately.