The book is done! etsy.com/listing/1633021459/…

Paid $17 for a kettle one and soda last night genuinely all cocktail bars must be destroyed

Insane, never seen anything remotely like it. If youre even remotely curious you gotta see this

In highschool a cop stuck his whole head into my car and started questioning me about the plastic wrapper in my cup holder, made me show it to him, was from a cosmic brownie

"Most" and its a hyper specific group of individuals within your online bubble

If you believe this is real I sincerely think you should not be allowed to vote

Invited an assortment of friends from very different friend groups to go back to Vietnam with me for lunar new year and surprisingly a few said yes

I dont like "folks" I cant explain why, just hate hearing it

Every workplace has that one guy who just sounds like hes taking poison damage 24/7

There has to be some explanation why I, a person of what id say is average intelligence, is able to complete simple tasks faster than 99% of the population. Why is it taking people 15 seconds to enter a 4 digit pin, why cant they decide which type of gas they need in under 30?

You go in your buddies kitchen and make yourself a baked potato and suddenly youre the bad guy. Potatoes are like 25 cents stfu Danny

I saw this guy at ren fair and shouted "anomalocaris!" And my fiends looked at me likd I was insane.

Average tradesman turns red in the face with rage when you ask them to answer an email but sure lets pretend

I hope the Mexican community is enjoying Gears of War as much as I am. I will not be touching pvp to find out. I learned that lesson as a young boy, that is their domain and has nothing to do with me.

My first day in upstairs neighbor training camp. Ive eaten 8000 calories and learned how to walk in a way that defies all explanation. I have adopted 2 children and taught them both that jumping jacks are the only path into heaven. Tomorrow we are taking tap dancing classes.

The barrier for entry for a drivers license needs to be 5x higher than it is. The average person is simply too stupid to be trusted with a several thousand pound machine

The economy is so bad we dont even bother calling it a recession anymore its just the way things are designed to be

Flight attendants come on the intercom every 30 seconds just to say some bullshit

Every time im forced to see a streamer clip against my will I really do sit and think "what kind of person is watching this" I like to goof off and waste time every now and then, but one life and youre watching a stranger just be loud and rich. Itll never make sense to me.