Jack of all trades, master of tying my own shoes.

Nashville, TN
Joined March 2010
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The comments section omg. How is this still up
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My new best (and favorite card). 🙌
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A terrifying success story in four parts @CardPurchaser
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Justin Onslow retweeted
The race is bitterly divided on the issue of a transcontinental railroad.
The two candidates for Missouri House of Representatives District 158 have something in common. Left: incumbent R - Scott Cupps Right: D - Chris Foster
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This. All the pitching decisions were magnified 10x by not being able to score runs. When your team can’t hit, and it feels like you need zeros every innings from everyone on the staff to have a chance, the issue is clearly a mediocre (or worse) offense.
Replying to @FranmilsEyebrow
He isn’t the reason Parker Messick had a 52.6% HardHit% this Postseason, or the reason Joey Cantillo couldn’t throw strikes or miss bats. Brayan Rocchio had a wRC+ of 2, Adell, Bazz, and Kwan had wRC+ in the 60’s and Nate Lowe slugged .297. Turn your fucking brains on.
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I went into this series with respect and even a little fondness for the Rays. That Caminero three-minute home run trot ended that shit in a hurry. Brewers in 4.
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(The Dolans just lucked into a lockout and a new excuse to not put an entire postseason of extra ticket revenue toward payroll.)
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3-1 and it feels like 30-1.
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Good baseball teams don’t make their fans feel like the game is over when it’s 3-0 in the 5th. This offense still sucks. We’ve done a lot of mental gymnastics about it this season but the proof is in the pudding. We can’t hit well enough.
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“at some point” THAT POINT IS 2028 IF YOU LOSE THIS ONE STEPHEN
Tom Hamilton asked Stephen Vogt on the pre-game radio show, “why not go Joey Cantillo or Tanner Bibee to start Game 6?” The #Guardians manager admitted Cantillo has been more effective coming out of the bullpen and they still like Bibee as a possible length option at some point.
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Justin Onslow retweeted
He dealt with the goddamn customers so that the engineers didn't have to. He had people skills. He was good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that?
🕊️ "Office Space" star Richard Riehle has died at 78. tmz.com/2026/10/19/richard-r…
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I mean, Shawn Armstrong to Tim Herrin to Matt Festa. WHAT COULD GO WRONG
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It’s almost like a bullpen game and then a game in which you relied too much on a rookie starter and then another bullpen game is a bad strategy in the ALCS. Who knew.
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I love Stephen Vogt and I’ll always give him the benefit of the doubt (which he has absolutely earned). That said, I think he managed this game like a punt game instead of an opportunity (after the postponement) to put his best nine on the field all game and go for the kill.
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There’s the Matt Festa we’ve been waiting all postseason to see
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Justin Onslow retweeted
When my girlfriend and her friends go to the bathroom and I get stuck talking to the other boyfriend
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Justin Onslow retweeted
3 possible outcomes: @Brewers first title ever. @RaysBaseball first title ever. @CleGuardians first title since 1948. We’re about to witness @MLB history. @MLBNetwork
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Justin Onslow retweeted
Gavin Williams has 44 strikeouts in the first 5 starts of his postseason career (dating back to 2024). The only pitchers in MLB history with more Ks through 5 career postseason starts are Sandy Koufax (48) and Bob Gibson (47).
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Justin Onslow retweeted
Junior wanna put a ball in play today?
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