ThirdSpace

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Talking with the teens and it becomes clear to me that: - no one is talking about how to acquire social skills - all the old "practice this in smaller/less important arenas" customs that used to give people a chance to use new social skills have been dismantled - the kids often literally don't realize that people skills are exactly that: skills that need to be learned - many are astonished that this was the kind of thing that was openly discussed in newspaper columns like Ms Manners, because they think rediscovering that there are rules for social interaction is the realm of autists who believe they are the first to realize that interacting with other people might be reducible to rules - many are shocked (and then think 'oh that makes sense') that making social situations less awkward/painful was the purpose of teaching people manners This is a ridiculous breakdown in social responsibility. Breaking and discarding the concept of manners was not some novel and courageous act of rebellion, but more like stabbing yourself and everyone else and expecting to enjoy it, and live through the blood loss. In my lifetime (and I'm not all that old) we knew you had to train human beings how to interact with one another, and that this required shared behavior norms. That part of the purpose of policing a society's boundaries was to preserve those shared behavior norms because they make existence and interaction bearable and fruitful. We have to haul ourselves out of this stupid trainwreck and start teaching courtesy as a disiciplined habit so the kids can stop feeling like they've been sentenced to a lifetime of dealing with other human beings as if it's exactly that: a sentence, rather than a delight, a relief, or an outlet.

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