Actor | Improvisor | Writer| Voice Over Artist. Love child of James Gandolfini and Jon Favreau. IG: JerseySmitty.
Jersey City, NJ
Joined July 2010
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I just had a dream that Ben Stiller was mad at me, cut my scene and mailed me a haiku firing me…can someone tell him I’m sorry.
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It’s 5am on a train to Brooklyn in late October. Is the guy across from me wearing a top hat and cape because it’s almost Halloween? Is it because it’s NYC? We may never know…#nyc
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I have two dragons inside of me…
-I took a prebiotic & probiotic w/ my antibiotics this morning
-I also took an Imodium
…We shall see
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If you don’t wake up to the free channel continuously playing Kitchen Nightmares on the tv you forget to turn off and immediately tear up cuz John from Mama Maria never had a proper child hood and is still working at his failing restaurant, then is it even a Monday?
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Is anyone else in a perpetual state of :
hunger, exhaustion, soreness and “waiting on a good email”
…or is it just me ?
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A modern retelling of What’s Eating Gilbert Grape where Pedro Pascal plays Depp’s character & I play a combination of the mom and Leo’s role.
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In these trying times (2024 Resolution Eras Tour) , my bathroom mirror is being the kindest to me.
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I’m at the “will liquid marine collagen fix my life” portion of the week #tuesdayvibe
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My toxic trait is that I spend more on supplies to make the Halloween costume than it costs to actually BUY the Halloween costume #Halloween #toxic
I know I’m too old not to know this answer, but how does one go about getting a primary doctor? Are they assigned to you at the DMV? Do I have to audition? Is there an app? #adulting
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It’s #ShootYourShotWednesday , a fictitious hashtag I created to reach out to talented humans I’d love to work with.
1st edition goes to Adam McKay @GhostPanther Who I think saw my reel when I did the @dontlookupfilm doomsday promo. I would love to read for you one day. Ok, bye✌🏻
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I’ve been doing “Cry January” and I’ve gotta admit, I’m really enjoying these depression naps. #2022Goals
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When flossing, where does everyone flick the food they find in between their teeth? I like to fling mine at the mirror.
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Had a blast shooting this promo for @dontlookupfilm currently on @NetflixFilm . Thanks to all the crew and extras. Huge thanks to @whoisthebaldguy , @netflix and @GhostPanther for making this happen.
If a comet was actually heading toward Earth... would anyone believe it? @dontlookupfilm
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Good morning and welcome to the “shart” portion of the year. The period between The Holidays and New Years Eve that’s not quite a shit but also not quite a fart either. #MondayMorning
Just @ the person you’re passive aggressively talking about when you post your “motivational memes” and grow up already. #tuesdayvibe
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My entire apartment is rumbling from everyone watching #Dune separately in their own room.
Super proud of myself because today I’m going to make one of the most adult purchases of my life. I’m getting my own #Netflix account. Don’t ask me for my login. I’m too grown for you.
#wednesdaythought
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