Jen Ish

You know you’re in your 30s when nothing gets you out of bed faster than remembering you forgot to roll out your cart on recycling week

Whenever I restart my laptop, the Edge browser finds its way back to my taskbar. With each unpin I shake my head in pity. Oh honey, it’s never gonna happen.

Toddler parent training is successful when you reach *for* the unknown item on the floor that might be poop. (It was not. This time.)

My 3.5yo just told me our walk on an unusually balmy Feb day was “getting old.” 👀 ☠️Scuuuuse me?

Ahh Friday. Another weekend to think about posting my box of unwanted items on the local Buy-Sell-Trade

Did you know you could be bullied into riding a scooter by a 22mo?

🙋🏼‍♀️. Yes! Always on a healing journey from this

Coparent (CP) playing store w/ 3yo: 3yo: i need these things for my children. CP: that’s a lot of soups! how many children do you have? 3yo: a lot. and i also need some wipes. CP: sure but there aren’t many left is that ok? 3yo: yeah. some of my children died. 💀💀

Me, shamelessly bribing* my children to cooperate more smoothly: hey, I thought after we [insert undesired errand], we could maybe get a donut? 3yo: yeah. Im always up for donuts. *the key here is to appear incredibly nonchalant and uninvested

My 3yo, 1yo, & I are equally mesmerized by Blippi & Meekah. Has anyone else had this experience? Should I be concerned?

Did you know? After food, the next biggest waste in the under-5 crowd is bandaids.

You ever take a shower with your 1.5yo standing next to you, driving a car over your bare ass while you rinse the shampoo from your hair? Parenting is a trip.

Tip #878: to get a toddler to eat a specific food, place it on his sibling’s plate.

Will I ever remember how to make a line break in Excel without googling it? STAY TUNED.

My new favorite thing might be 3yo yelling, “tennis balllll!!!” Instead of cannonball when doing a big jump

In Wilmington this weekend. Just now, 3yo: i really wanna get down to the beach. After we do all the things we need to do.

This was a steep learning curve for me when I was looking for my first non-ac job. Good stuff here! 👏🏼👏🏼

You think you’re gonna be one of those cool “forever young” adults until you’re taking out the garbage & have to bite your tongue so you don’t yell at the loud teens* walking by, “hey! My kids are sleeping! Keep it down!” *Were they teens? 20-somethings? Can’t tell anymore.