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🇳🇿🇬🇧busy being shit at video games🔭🌌 depressed and transgender astrophysics undergrad🌟 priv: @jaynesvoid

she/her
Joined April 2024
Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)Photo by Jayne🏳️‍⚧️✨ (@JayneCringe)
trans girl there will come a time in your transition where you may hear a voice: "you should get a rhinoplasty - you should get a nose job". that voice? is satan. and should be pushed away and killed.
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my favourite burger ive ever had was called the cock n bull from a millenial ass restaurant and it was fucking delicious and last time i went it wasnt on the menu fuck my freaking chud life
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wagyu burger, chicken breast, blue cheese sauce, relish and a brioche bun with an immense portion of perfectly crispy fries. it was beautiful and ill never have it back. this has to be netenyahus fault
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being a girl is about having a bunch of random bruises and scrapes that you have no earthly idea where they came from
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think im gonna ·order E powder ·call mum and float the idea of maybe delaying a year ·stay in London till powder arrives so I can mix it up ·if by then im somehow better, keep at uni, if not, meet with student support to discuss details
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i think if i had the time and money to build a wardrobe, learn some makeup (still a tomboy im not about to wear a full face daily) and get laser maybe having a higher base satisfaction in myself would improve my ethic but atm i can't take that step so i continue to futchmode
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fucking money that's what so much of this comes down to... fucking capitalism i shouldn't have to worry so much about this...
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if i was to delay my degree a year i wouldn't be living on my own for a while. and then i wouldn't have a flat to store my stuff in, or make E-gel in. so would need to make a year's worth of gel to last until i could return to uni. would probably need to make like 6 bottles.
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gonna order more powder and make some up so I can treat this plan more realistically. i think im gonna give it 2 more weeks to see how i feel but if i don't have gel stored up i can't move out from London period so this is a must.
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not exactly sure where to store my lab supplies if i move back but there's plenty of room in the attic i could hide it.
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just looked at a map of new york properly for the first time so why exactly is new jersey it's own state again like it literally is just across the harbour, would be like if south london was another city... which would make sense actually that side sucks
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would rewatching evangelion fix me or make me worse rn
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i think i need to delay my degree for the year. im giving it the rest of this week to see if ill suddenly find some motivation and if not im emailing student support
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i literally cant work at the moment. hoping opening my mind to this possibility will let me relax enough to maybe try a bit, and if not ill need to talk to my parents about this as i still rely on them for rent money
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how its been feeling lately
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prozac stops me wanting to die but i still have no motivation to do anything at all productive. cant get adhd meds for months. if i go off antidepressants i get so suicidal i cant be left alone. what do i do.
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pretty sure my pc couldnt run it but i still refuse to acknowledge gta vi's existance until its on pc
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i wanna install grindr or hinge maybe but my phone doesn't have enough storage im getting cockblocked by my shitty old phone
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tomorrow istg im finding a way to back up most of the stuff stored on it, its data transfer via cable doesn't really work but maybe i can do it over wi-fi or something
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