JayMind (@JayMindX) header
JayMind (@JayMindX) profile picture

JayMind

@JayMindX

“Writer.” Professional cynic.

 Minneapolis
xitter.cf/search?q=from%3A%40JayMindX%20exclude%3Areplies
Joined July 2015
  • Tweets22.5K
  • Following2K
  • Followers7.2K
I can tell just by looking at a person if they have the Arby’s app on their phone.
64
3
421
17,629
*chugs 4th glass of wine *slams the glass on the table I’m gonna buy a dog.
20
26
153
7,164
Friday night, time to fax my pizza delivery order to the local Domino’s.
2
2
42
2,360
After food is delivered to my door, I hire a second person to bring it to my couch.
23
2
144
3,366
If I were a solo artist I would call myself 21 Sandwich, because that’s how many I eat each week.
1
10
52
2,379
What is the exact amount of time before a nap actually turns in to bed time?
2
7
34
917
i once saw maury povich break a homeless guy's arm with his bare hands
5
6
88
2,414
Gonna start dressing like the 80s again. Whether I mean the 1980s or 80-years-old, I’ll let you decide.
1
11
769
I wish I was rich enough to say “I’ll send for the rest of my things” as I make a dramatic exit out the door.
15
269
2
390
17,755
I see posts like, "If food is too expensive just grow your own." Okay George Washington why didn't I think of that
12
23
1
127
4,067
It’s cruel that when you’re in a hotel learning a new shower knob, confused and annoyed, you’re also naked and cold.
17
68
2,296
JayMind retweeted
Kat (@ollkorrect0) profile picture
Kat@ollkorrect010 Aug 2025
My mother has requested I find a new emergency contact
16
64
1
296
11,219
The whitest thing I’ve ever done is buy salsa from CVS.
41
105
7
635
22,212
Onlyfans is just what I’ll be running after paying my July electric bill.
1
11
28
1,511
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.
10
280
2
405
26,862
Sometimes we clap because they’re good. Sometimes we clap because they’re done. Karaoke
4
141
195
9,664
Dudes have to wear pants to the office, but I can throw on a pillowcase with armholes & go unbothered.
6
2
25
999
JayMind retweeted
dan (@dadopotamus) profile picture
dan
@dadopotamus21 Jul 2025
10 years ago, I put my phone on silent and never looked back.
110
824
100
3,689
198,830
You'd have to work pretty hard to be obese & Amish.
3
2
1
25
2,242
I was a completely different person yesterday when I was making plans for today.
2
12
54
1,867
Adults who say “yummy” please stop.
10
98
1
130
7,901
Load more