30/M/Pan. NSFW sometimes. Minors/MAPS DNI. Do not follow or approach me for anything involving money in any way 🚫
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ALT Panel 1: Audrey is knocking on the door at Val's second floor, outdoor entrance apartment. He's wearing a green sweater-dress with a striped pattern resembling trees, blue tights, and cream-colored ankle warmers. He's got two bags from the convenience store in his right hand and his red purse slung around his left shoulder. Panel 2: He waits, smiling contently, as there is no response to the knocking. Panel 3: "Val?" he says, raising his hand to knock again. Panel 4: The view splits between two sides of the door, revealing that Val had already been quietly standing there on the opposite side, her forehead on the door and her eyes clenched shut in frustration. "Yeah Audrey, I'm here," she responds. "Oh! Did you get rid of the black mold?" asks Audrey.
ALT Panel 5: "Yeah. Yeah, I did," says Val. Audrey looks away from the door awkwardly, holding the strap of his purse, and asks "Then, um ... may I come in?" Panel 6: Val shuts her eyes tight in anxious anticipation and grasps the door handle, unlocking it with a "click". Panel 7: Audrey gingerly steps into the room, looking down at the unopened mail on the ground as Val stands behind the door holding it, eyes still shut, and a fly buzzes by in front of them. Panel 8: Audrey looks forward at the room and his eyes widen.
ALT Panel 9: Val scrunches up, her shoulders rising around her neck as she keeps her eyes shut tight and furrows her brow with anxiety. Surrounding her is darkness, because she can't see right now, though the door is there because she can feel it. She thinks, "I can feel Audrey's gaze on me now. I wonder how he's looking at me ..." Panel 10: In her imagination forms an Audrey with a comically disgusted face, leaning away and biting his lip. "Disgust?" she thinks, "That would make sense." Panel 11: The imagined Audrey now has an expression of pity, his eyes gloomy and pained looking down at her. "Pity?" she thinks. Panel 12: The imagined Audrey now has a rageful expression, mouth tensed, brows furrowed, pupils turned into concentric circles. "Or ... maybe hatred?" she thinks.
ALT Panel 13: Val is in a white void, eyes still closed, down on her knees and with her fists clenched in frustration, sweating. "I don't want to open my eyes," she thinks, "BUT. I can't keep them closed FOREVER. Can I? Perhaps ... Just a peek ....." Panel 14: Val's room behind her now becomes visible as she ever so slightly opens just one eye, still tensing her shoulders and biting her lip nervously. Panel 15: Audrey has a calm smile and looks at Val with gentle, loving eyes as four tiny doves around the panel carry two banners spelling out "MOTHERLY LOVE." The background bursts with light. Panel 16: Val is getting, metaphorically, absolutely obliterated by the light of Audrey's gaze. It is, metaphorically, literally disintegrating her as she throws her hands up feebly to defend herself and yells, the light erasing nearly all color in the panel.
ALT Panel 1: Val is walking in between a crowd of wavy blue and purple humanoid figures with prominent eyes. She is looking at the ground, but many of their gazes are on her. "The gazes of others have always hurt me," she narrates. Panel 2: Val glances over her shoulder with a worried look. "Why are you LOOKING at me? What are you THINKING of me? What do you WANT from me?" she narrates, "There are so many implication to being looked at." Panel 3: One of the blue figures looks down at you, its eyes contorted in disgust as its whole body seems to shrivel along with it. "They look is unmistakable. DISGUST. They find me disgusting," Val narrates. Panel 4: A hand belonging to one of the figures, lifting up a rock amid some grass to find a small dark brown millipede squirming in the dirt below it. Val continues: "Like they just lifted up a rock and found a bug beneath it, small and squirming and unused to sunlight."
ALT Panel 5: Audrey is standing in the crowd among the humanoids, looking right at you, wearing the white blouse and blue bubble skirt from when they first met by the river bank. "But Audrey's gaze is DIFFERENT. It's not like when others look at me," Val narrates. Panel 6: Audrey's eyes burst with pure white light. "It's WORSE," Val narrates. Panel 7: The glow of Audrey's now-giant eyes on his now-giant face pierces Val like a spotlight. "Utter annihilation," Val narrates as her souls is parted from her body, now floating behind her as she floats in the glow of Audrey's eyes. Panel 8: Val's unconscious body floats in the glow as her soul comes up behind her and puts its hand on her shoulder to take a look at her. The soul is a dark blue humanoid form with a messy ponytail and glasses. "I'm suddenly painfully aware of every flaw I have. Every bad habit, every stupid thought. I was so accustomed to just surviving every day," Val narrates.
ALT Panel 9: The lifting up rock panel again, but now the hand lifting it up is Audrey's hand, and under it is now a tiny Val, eyes shut tight, in fetal position. "Why did I not care about myself?" Val narrates, "Why did I not like myself?" Panel 10: "I'm not READY ... for someone to look at me with anything but disgust, Audrey," Val narrates, turning her head to look up from the dirty, fearfully, still grasping her knees in fetal position. Panel 11: A snail on a leaf on a peaceful, sunny day. A few raindrops glisten on the leaf from a recent drizzle. The snail is snugly inside its shell. Panel 12: Point of view of the tiny Val in the dirt. Audrey lifting up the rock, the sun illuminating the him from behind, his eyes glistening. "I'm ... not ..." Val narrates.
ALT Panel 13: The snail once again, now slowly, cautiously, sticking one eye out of its shell and beginning to come out. Panel 14: "Ready," says Val out loud, standing near the doorway into her apartment and holding a mostly full trash bag in her right hand. She's wearing her red sweatpants, socks and bathroom sandals, and a long sleeved black shirt with the Nirvana x-eyed smiley face logo. Panel 15: Closeup of Val's desk. A monitor with the League of Legends defeat screen and a digital clock. A stray piece of paper, a paper bag, and a stack of sticky notes in front of the monitor. The monitor has a sticky note on the bottom reading "7PM" circled. The digital clock reads 6:42PM. Panel 16: We get a full view of Val's room and it is a mess. Unopened envelopes and pizza boxes on the floor. A pile of dirty clothes next to an uncovered mattress that is pinning two bags of chips against the wall. Trash bags, electronics chargers, and a roll of paper towels on the floor. "Ah, shit," says Val.
