@JasonGarramone

Writer, spec ed teacher, cancer survivor, and other stuff. Words: @mcsweeneys @globeandmail @pointsincase @weeklyhumorist @slackjawhumor @cracked and others

 Kitchener-Waterloo
Joined January 2016
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86Media
Happy to receive an honorable mention for this piece in the @SlackjawHumor challenge. Big thanks to @beaverkairis for taking the time to give me great notes. Congratulations to all the winners and writers who submitted.
Slackjaw 🚀@SlackjawHumor21 May 2021
Honorable Mention: I'm The Male Director Of This Tampon Commercial And I Have No Idea What Menstruation Is by @JasonGarramone medium.com/slackjaw/im-the-m…

I’m The Male Director Of This Tampon Commercial And I Have No Idea What Menstruation Is

I want big smiles and lots of swagger, ladies. Remember: you’ve got the periods.

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Not sure if anyone still posts writing on here, but this is the true story of the worst massage I've ever received. medium.com/bigger-picture/ru…

Rubbed the Wrong Way

I suffer from a genetic type of arthritis called ankylosing spondylitis which affects my spine. Massage can be beneficial for people with…

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weeklyhumorist.com/substitut… #WWERaw #wwesmackdown #Wrestling #WWENXT #WWEEvolution #wwe
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Jason Garramone retweeted
Eric Andre
@ericandre6 Mar 2025
Anyone else get the sense sometimes that they're on Fart 'Splosion
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Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange.
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Vittoria@vitt2tsnoc12 Nov 2024
Tuesdays are the worst so here is the funniest video of all time
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If you like to laugh out loud, watch English Teacher.
Brian Jordan Alvarez
@brianjoralvarez10 Nov 2024
Stream English Teacher
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The Cinegogue
@TheCinegogue18 Oct 2024
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New A.I. test: if you don't laugh, you're not human.
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Love Reductress headlines like this that make me laugh out loud.
Reductress@Reductress3 Sep 2024
Mom Needs Your Flight Information so if Plane Goes Down She Can Come Fix It: ow.ly/3PGT50TbcOB
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I just discovered that there was a movie called "Lone Wolf McQuade" and it's NOT a comedy?!?
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I'm not embarrassed to admit how many times I've watched this.
CALL TO ACTIVISM
@CalltoActivism26 Aug 2024
I am embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve watched this remix.
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Was Scott Peterson's lawyer the father of the "Dancing Gypsy Kid"? #Netflix #LaciPeterson
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Jason Garramone retweeted
Asher Perlman
@asherperlman6 Jul 2024
Officially a bestseller. Love you all 🙂‍↕️
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Robert Pattinson looks old. #teamcoco
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This piece I wrote for @PointsinCase is relevant once a year. It must be Groundhog Day. pointsincase.com/articles/fo…

Forget Punxsutawney Phil: Other Woodland Creatures and the Predictions They Make

If the deer flares its nostrils, it means that when you debut a new outfit, at least two people will notice and compliment you on it.

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Merry Christmas! You can enjoy my latest comedy in @PointsinCase. I apologize in advance to anyone who is a fan of the bagpipes. pointsincase.com/articles/i-…

I, Bagpipes, Am Also Confused as to Why I’m Part of This Christmas Parade

Listen, I appreciate being included in this Christmas parade but, frankly, I’m not sure why I’m here.

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Had a great time collaborating on this piece with the very funny Tom Ellison and Patrick Coyne.
McSweeney's@mcsweeneys11 Dec 2023
- Tell me he’s going to give me the “Van Gogh” - Say, “Wow, that’s a lot of blood” - Insist I only had one ear when I came in mcsweeneys.net/articles/ever…

Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up

- Tell me he’s going to give me the “Van Gogh” - Say, “Wow, that’s a lot of blood” - Insist I only had one ear when I came in

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One of the best edits I’ve ever seen.
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All of these words add up to a lot of laughing out loud. Baby, You Know I’m Not Good at Math, but I Do Know That You Me = Something mcsweeneys.net/articles/baby…

Baby, You Know I’m Not Good at Math, but I Do Know That You + Me = Something

“Remember when we went for brunch, and I ordered all those eggs? I ordered scrambled eggs, and the waiter asked how many, and I panicked and said nine. I did...

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Sunday vibes.
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