Join me in line to see Depeche Mode and we'll both get a better spot! #spirittour depmo.de/2mhJgo7

Join me in line to see Depeche Mode and we'll both get a better spot! #spirittour depmo.de/2mhJgo7

Waited all summer for #walkingdead to return, just to discover that Maggie shot Mr Burns. I don't have cable so I had to watch Simpsons dvds

August 30, 2015. The day that horror died. RIP Wes Craven, thank you for all of the nightmares.

If they don't call the inevitable fourth @SharknadoSyfy movie "The Sharkening", then society can just fuck off forever.

Can T-Swift and T-Pain PLEASE collaborate on a gangsta rap album called "Swift Pain"? The world needs this.

Ryan Greene deserves an award for his remastering job on @StrungOut's Twisted By Design. I didn't think you could improve it, I was wrong.

Zero fucks about what @FatMike_of_NOFX says, I like ALL more than Descendents. #imweird #anomaly

Intruder Blue from @maskedintruder1 in action

Using a fabric marker, I turned all of my AFI shirts into RAFFI shirts. It's just less embarrassing to be seen wearing them this way.

Why isn't there someone in the porn industry named Clit Eatsgood? They could be in the Dirty, Hairy series...which I hope isnt actually real

Do they still make Request jeans, or have they gone the way of Buffalo?

I'm awake, wearing pants, and haven't taken a swing at you yet. That's the best you're getting. Call on Jesus for any further miracles.

Say #fucanada all you want, we still beat the #USAHoles, like there was ever any doubt.

I haven't really been checking the news lately. Has Justin Bieber od'd yet? No? I'll check back tomorrow.

If you've ever masturbated to lesbian porn, then you can't oppose gay marriage. You can't jerk off to someone then deny them equal rights.

@Dan_E_Mack You suck at returning texts dude. Step up your game, son.

"I'm not racist, but..." is generally the precursor to the most racist shit you can imagine.

I have high hopes that Sharknado 2 is going to be even sharknadoier than the first. #sharknado #whatamidoingwithmylife