Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize) header
Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize) profile picture

Jan·da·līze ☆

@Jandalize

Big nosed woman (made ya look). What I lack in smokin' hot bod, I make up for in smokin' hot sarcasm https://xitter.cf/t.co/l3VFluVGRc ● IG ● @ vendboygreg 💙s my nos

 Good ole North Carolina ~ USA
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Joined September 2009
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Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)Photo by Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)
May 1996 I was blessed with the most beautiful, strong, hardheaded baby named Cassie. She made me so proud. She was wonderful & perfect in every way. On August 29 my daughter died in a tragic accident. Parents aren't supposed to lose their kids. Rest in peace my beautiful angel.
Image from Jan·da·līze ☆ (@Jandalize)
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This site under construction indefinitely due to NO ONE giving a shit.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Ben Boven (@benboven1) profile picture
Ben Boven@benboven130 Sep 2022
Welcome to your forties, when you start saying things like "This store isn't open yet? It's almost 7am!"
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I'm no expert, but I think Sammy Hagar could drive 55 if he didn't have one foot on the brakes and one on the gas.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) profile picture
Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK29 Sep 2022
The Imperial March from Star Wars has a totally different vibe when played on a kazoo
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Rock (@TheCensoredRock) profile picture
Rock
@TheCensoredRock30 Sep 2022
Quit saying side hustle, you have a part time job
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) profile picture
Nayele18@nayele18maybe29 Sep 2022
Tripped and almost fell over an extension cord at work and I’m not even that drunk yet.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Stefan Urquelle (@OfficeofSteve) profile picture
Stefan Urquelle@OfficeofSteve30 Sep 2022
[cooking instructions] "Start by preheating the oven" I can't do that, that's where I keep my pots and pans
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) profile picture
Dan Regan@DanRegan_Comedy30 Sep 2022
Saying your kid is "a ball of energy" is parent code for "annoying little shit."
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Uncle Bob 🍩 (@UncleBob56) profile picture
Uncle Bob 🍩@UncleBob5630 Sep 2022
Liquor store: We ID everyone. George Washington: *whips out a dollar bill*
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Alone in a world full of people is a strange feeling.
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I need a long, tight, consoling hug from a tequila bottle
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) profile picture
Vinod Chhaproo
@Chhapiness27 Sep 2022
The first rule of tortillas club is we don’t taco bout it
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I don't need your approval. Unless it's covered in nacho cheese, in which case I need it so bad.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Felicia (@LostFelicia) profile picture
Felicia@LostFelicia27 Sep 2022
I don't know who needs to hear this, but mischievous doesn't have 4 syllables.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) profile picture
NicholasG@Dad_At_Law27 Sep 2022
When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, “In a pie-eating contest, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie.” I think about that a lot.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) profile picture
Nayele18@nayele18maybe27 Sep 2022
A kid in my class said his glue stick is “crusty and used up” and I cannot think of a better metaphor for my life.
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I didn't set out to be useless, but here I am, killing it.
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Jan·da·līze ☆ retweeted
Matty (@bestestname) profile picture
Matty@bestestname25 Sep 2022
If you love someone, set them free, but only in the basement, and only for like 2 hours. Tops.
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