Jameson 🧸

I got a boyfriend AND a battered sausage with chips and gravy in one day, now THAT ladies is what I call a reSULT – at Manchester, England

very strongly feel the opposite about this like without the typography it’s just a photo, the words and placement are part of the artwork come onnnn

another day, another unattainable pretty Latino boy with a huge ass served up by the algorithm, when will it stop (don’t stop)

I thought this was the most ragebait tweet like what do you MEAN you can be fucking a man and not see his whole back - and then I remembered straight people exist

‘unforeseen challenges’ lol, SHOCK as nobody wants to pay £300 to go celebrate your 70th bday while you’re platforming an actual genocide and nuking your entire brand’s reputation in the process 🫡

I wish I could text my dog on my way home from a night out to let him know I’m nearly home so don’t worry and also don’t piss on the floor please x also just wanna chat to him yknow? like how’s your night been little buddy? barked at a threatening leaf outside the window again?

Currently 1830 miles away from my dog so I sampled his little tippy tappy paws in a song to make myself feel better

seeing this mere days before I turn 30 feels very pointed

Day 491 of playing Luktelk in the office and finally today my Lithuanian colleague realised it’s a song in her language

Those results were absolutely fucking hideous. Ban the cunts.