Jake Kuhni

“Santa Claus is real.” “No, he’s not.” “Yes he is, I've seen him.” “You've seen him?” “Yes.” “You've seen a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer that's crewed by the elves, and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down?” “No.” “No.” “But I have seen a sleigh with reindeer.” “Oh, and no sleigh that's not crewed by the elves and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down could possibly have reindeer, therefore couldn't possibly be any other sleigh than Santa’s. Is that what you're telling me?” “No.” “Like I said, there's no real Santa that can deliver the presents.”