Oh that? Yeah I actually already knew you’d bring it up, I recited this entire conversation in my head while I got ready this morning. We can just end the social interaction here actually, if you say the thing I know you’ll say next then I can’t like you anymore, sorry.
I just learned that I have to eat 3500 calories a day to put on the weight I need to get a shapely ass. This is worse than a gunshot to the head
This is a joke btw, human girls get brain worms all the time and it’s your responsibility as their gf to help care for their affliction. Best practices include cuddles, compliments, praise, positive reinforcement, and advanced de-worming techniques (for bedroom participants only)
I am (allegedly) the token puppygirl of my t4t relationship. But humangirls don’t get worms this bad so, idk, maybe there’s two of us…
Riding the bus is like getting in a mirror chamber. All the eyes reflect my image back at me and I wonder if it tells them the same things it tells me
Hey so I heard the looming collapse is actually going to hit pretty soon and I’m just wondering if I can get a +1 to the fallout shelter for my girlfriend? There’s nothing I can do? I can’t afford that! You want me to pay another way? I just said I have a girlfriend dude, come on
Sauna Dean Cokeland has been my guilty pleasure for years. I played Cokeland County on repeat for MONTHS after it came out. She just gets it
Yeah, I guess you could say I’m jorking it 😏. And by ‘jorking’ I mean staring in awe and by ‘it’ I mean my girlfriend’s beautiful form
Jaiden Days retweeted
constantly whiplashing between “what the hell, sure” and “i’ve got to get killed”
One thing they won’t teach you is that Time from last eating is directly correlated to the Desire to blow your head off.
What does a gal gotta do to get tased around here? Please say begging please say begging please say begging please say begging please







