Win at performance metrics by re-calibrating time: Date.prototype.valueOf = function() {return this.getTime() * 0.9};
Win at performance metrics by reducing all your setTimeout intervals by 1. #patentPending
The semicolons were so unreadable that @thomasfuchs rewrote Zepto without them. Another victory for common sense. mir.aculo.us/2012/04/09/say-…
Reddit commenters, undermine fellow developers by pointing out their idiom breaks whenever Object.prototype is overriden to 'banana'.
Proud to announce ES6 will have both function scoped 'var' and block scoped 'let'. At the same time. Because that's much less confusing.
Say goodbye to the pesky ternary operator: "[myResult1, myResult2][+myCondition];" #youreWelcome #greatForNesting
Not good at coding? Simply assemble an arbitrary subset of your highly personal yet erratic coding style. Voila! The JavaScript Style Guide!
Sorry @jashkenas, unless you're planning to write a CoffeeScript to JavaScript compiler, I'm not interested.
Introducing "hella strict mode". A missed semicolon will alert the fire brigade, a nested ternary will wipe your hard drive. #becauseWeCare
French people, now you too can write JavaScript thanks to my new i18njs library e.g. "fonction sayHi() {retournez 'hello world'}" #oohLaLa!
Yell 'lambda!' at anonymous fns and if you see a numeric return value, babble manically about monads and stage a walkout #functionalHeckling
My contributions to ES5 were so popular, they asked me back!! This time they'd like me to color in the logos and number the pages. #ingrates
JS conference attendees, win new friends with ernest discussion of the ES6 weak maps proposal. Failing that say "semicolons" and wink a lot.
Fantastic News! The Fat Arrow is coming! As of ES6 there will now be *two* ways to write greater-than-or-equals: ">=" and "=>". #upAndUp
Say no to global variables with my award winning #goodbyeCruelWorld library. "window.onload = function() {delete window;}" #javaScript