fuck marry kill? naw… f murry abraham

can you even imagine

My pledge grandsons’s daughter is in my son’s class

some weekends im able to use my cvs 4 dollars off anyone coupon, some weekends im just not. that’s life.

I don’t mind chores. Time with my podcasts.

lady on my flight has had this frozen on her screen for 45 minutes

my daughter (4.5) learned about the statue of liberty this week but forgot where it was. she guessed burbank

I love when people tweet things like “nice comment congrats”

I honestly made so many friends at 711 tonight just by holding the door open for people.

I used to think that EST. before a date meant “estimated” like “we don’t exactly know when this was established but we’ll find out”

already cried twice watching toy story 2 with my almost 2 and 4.5 year olds “you’re growing up and it’s gonna feel like a long time for you but a short time for me” 😭

Wemby should have spend 2 more minutes with the Dalai Lama

i don’t even know what I’m saying “oh lord” about anymore

whenever I pass away I want that to be at target

Antony making an astute observation. Me: “Antony is not allowed to say that as the food guy”

just walked up to some cops outside of sportsmans lodge and said you absolutely have to find nancy guthrie

omg the guy from is this thing on