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Husband: have we got anymore of these balsamic tissues
Me: sorry, what now?
Him: these, *shows me Kleenex balsam tissues*
Me: stares
Went to the gym today. Last time was about 30 years ago.
Might wait another 30 years for my next trip
Just seen an advert for collagen. I sat, totally fascinated as this woman speaking couldn’t move her face. Her eyebrows didn’t move, no facial movement at all
Does anyone really believe that’s just collagen 🤣🙄🤦🏼♀️
On day 5266 of this cold, it’s bought me a tickly cough.
It really is the gift that keeps on giving.
I want a warm coat, however it seems I can’t have on unless I want to dress wear a duvet l, or a cropped jacket.
Jayne with a Y retweeted
I know people are worried about fuel prices. And I get it. You get to the pump, watch the numbers climb, and wonder why it's costing so much more than it used to.
The reality is that global events are pushing up costs, and families here at home are feeling the impact.
But I won't accept that there's nothing I can do to help.
That's why from today, you'll be able to see petrol and diesel prices on Google Maps, compare nearby stations and find the cheapest option before you fill up.
It's a small change, but if there's a practical way to help people keep more money in their pocket, I'll do it.
I ran Leicester half marathon last Oct, not my 1st but said it would be my last. Been running injured since, so of course I’m considering entering Manchester marathon
Hi @AldiUK do you have an email for issues with lorry drivers using a weight restricted road?
Jayne with a Y retweeted
Prince was asked to do a solo on a cover of While My Guitar Gently Weeps and he showed up to the rehearsal and barely played anything. Didn’t have any solo ready at all and didn’t play one. They asked what he was going to play and he just said “Don’t worry about it.”
Then, on the night of the performance he just looms out of the shadows and plays this. The way he pivots off that F# root note into Dorian mode is so good. Massively underrated guitarist.
I’ve just taken the dogs for a walk. Stood and chatted to another dog walker. Realised as I walked off that I’ve got blue paint on my leg & I’m wearing ripped shorts.
She didn’t say a word, clearly I styled it out
Jayne with a Y retweeted
In a free country, you are entitled to believe you are a woman with a penis. But not to take it into a female changing room, nor to cheat your way into a female athletic competition, nor in any way to impose your private delusion on the rest of us.
theguardian.com/politics/202…
I’m painting doors and skirting boards today, I know this means our kitchen is nearly finished, but I bloody hate glossing.
Jayne with a Y retweeted
It's time for my occasional reminder that balloons don't fly up to grandma up in heaven. They go up about five miles, burst, and fall back down.
What lands is a translucent scrap of latex with a ribbon attached, floating on water, stuck on land, looking almost exactly like a jellyfish. Sea turtles, seabirds and fish eat them.
Balloons are the deadliest piece of plastic a seabird can ingest, something like 32 times more likely to kill than a hard fragment, because soft latex folds and blocks the gut instead of passing through.
The ribbon stays intact for years, and it wraps around necks, wings and flippers long after the balloon itself is gone.
The biodegradable balloons don't fix the problem. University of Tasmania researchers buried latex balloons in industrial compost, the fastest breakdown environment that exists, and dug them up 16 weeks later fully intact.
Louisiana made intentional releases a finable offense this year. Most of Europe has banned them.
If you want to mark something: plant a tree, light a candle, blow bubbles, ring a bell. Whatever you're releasing it for, it isn't going where you want it to go.
I guess you could say, good on him for trying, bookings likely will drop off & he can say he pursued his dream.
He’d have definitely been a memorable contestant on X Factor
I’m all for supporting friends & family. And if he loves singing, goodfor him. But he genuinely couldn’t sing.
Surely you have a responsibility as a parent to have a little word. You might ‘ruin’ their dreams, but is that worse than strangers thinking wtf & leaving?