This is Phil. His wife thinks they’re saving for a house. They are. It just needs a cat with a DUI to hit $80 million. Phil won’t pay $2.99 for an app. “That’s how they get you.” Last night he sent $1,400 to a contract because a guy named CumWizard said the dev was different. The dev was different. He rugged during business hours so he could lose both incomes at once. Phil went downstairs and ate shredded cheese over the sink. His wife asked how trading went. “Still early.” He’s now in bed, brightness at zero, defending the project against a man who correctly identified it as a scam six hours ago. “Why are you so obsessed with our community?” There are 11 people left. Four are bots. One is the dev selling through a second wallet. Phil sets his alarm for work. Posts “imagine having a boss.” Closes the app and smiles.