I’m trained to sit and stand at the sound of a chime

don’t ever say I haven’t grown as a person. I use public bathrooms now.

my phone is trying to make my heart stop from panic it wants me dead

why does wearing mascara give me a headache

“do u wanna call?” NO NO NO PHONE CALL IS A TORTURE METHOD FROM THE DEVIL WHY WOULD U DO THAT TO ME NO NO NOOO NO

is anyone else concerned like in general

the story of how my uti got me a hit tweet

that’s not exactly what I was gonna ask…

If I had a dick everyone would be getting pregnant

is canada real im unsure

what r u like getting at here like what’s the goal

I’ve decided it’s all gonna be ok in the end so everyone can relax now

my parents named me lol because I’m a fucking joke

Zeke Yeager uncle pussy

phone umbrella epidemic

the dean referred to himself as daddy while speaking to our class and everyone just kind of ignored it

I’m dyeing everybody’s hair green soon. be careful.

let me know when u guys figure it out

yes I am a girl like all of u hahaha I’m so girl I have a pretty bow in hair I’m girl with eyelashes and skirt hahaha

Garfield was ginger and no one had a problem with it but when I do it suddenly it’s an issue