good noodle, bad egg
Joined September 2011
- Tweets156K
- Following1.4K
- Followers1.3K
- Likes124K
Moved to the Philly metro area and 2 new coworkers looked at me mid convo “what is that accent 🧐” I grew up like an hour and a half from here wtf?
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@FATMANKEY #ScreamingDreamsPrelude and #BeforeIScream are you rereleasing on Spotify? Would be tight
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Keep seeing all these white women with “RN” in their dating profiles like girl I’m sure you’re a lot of things but NOT that
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Sometimes I have to remember that the kids are probably wearing sheistys bc they’re autistic ❤️ like what exactly do u mean ur in family dollar smelling candles while ducking the opps??
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Started talking to the trans cashier at Family Dollar about the origin of the color purple and she invited me to join her DND campaign ???
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I’m at the Tractor Supply buying whole fits of Future Farmers of America apparel cuz I’m a breeder
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When my boss pisses me off I just update my indeed profile ever so slightly so I pop up on his feed. Oooh! That looks like a great hire! Oh
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“Lick it before u stick it” idk what about 5-10 minutes of contemplation, sniffing and savoring, expressing gratitude, releasing that which no longer serves your higher selves
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If the Spotify DJ was real I’d bend him over my knee and spank him for putting J*** H***** on my playlist. Disturbing my peace while I’m at the woman owned laundromat
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Just seen a man charging his Tesla wearing shorts in 10 degree weather brother you’re worried about the wrong climate rn
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“Reminder to download books on your kindles and tablets for offline reading”
Offline reading? U mean a fucking book?
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