Being a lawyer is so funny because you have to study and practice law for years and years to get really good at it but then if you’re one of the top 9 lawyers in the country you can just be like, “Yeah crime is legal now, fuck it.”

A lot of people were ragging on E3 pretty hard in its final years, and with good reason. Now that it's officially closed its doors for good, I think we're all going to miss it. Especially me. Because it was in my back yard and I didn't have to fly to it.

Ok I have thought of one thing in the Barbie movie I don’t like, and that is just how much America Ferrera’s all-new Chevrolet Blazer SS stuck out like a sore thumb.

So is SpaceX’s goal to become the ultimate space bank?

Musk really xeet the bed huh?

Leaving Twitter on my anniversary? Absolutely cold blooded. Anyway this place sucks, Elon is a twat, find me on Threads. #MyTwitterAnniversary

I’d find and retweet that Elon-Musk-slams-dick-in-car-door tweet but I’ve exceeded my rate limit. Masterful gambit, sir.

I just used 1 of your 600 posts for the day.

Have you listened to last week's @ThatsAbsurdShow with special guest @AliMattu yet? I haven't laughed (or thought this hard about placentas) in a long time. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas…

Ah yes, extraordinary. #TearsOfTheKingdom

I am not a collectible hardware fiend but that might change for that Starfield controller. That thing was gorgeous. #StarfieldDirect

“See you, Space cowboy” implies the existence of space cows.

Nobody subtweets like Merriam-Webster subtweets...

I may have giggled like a 5 year old when I thought of this this inappropriate joke. New episode is out today!

Alright I'll bite; what's Succession?